Public bathrooms, crammed beds, thin walls—the dorm experience has always possessed an unappealing image. However, I am part of the troupe that preaches that the life skills from sharing such a space is insurmountable. I look back at my dorm experience with gratitude, but I also understand that the roommates I shared this experience with lightened the heavy load. Since our roommate selection can make or break our dorm life, here are four tips for having a successful roommate connection.
You Don’t Have to Room With A High School Friend
Going to a college that no one in my high school attended, I naturally had to venture out of my comfort zone and form new social networks. Looking back, it was a crucial step towards my personal development. The independence and sense of direction in my choices could easily have been mottled if I hung on to a high school safety net. When we choose to cohabit with someone we already know, it can stifle our incentive to form other friend groups. Additionally, our best friend of 10+ years may actually be our most unideal roommate—I know all my early-bird, introverted friends would have despised my midnight conversations with 5+ people crowding the floor. New roommates can be our gateway to evolving emotionally, mentally, and especially socially.
Focus On Lifestyle Compatibility
We tend to idealize the role of a roommate in our college life. The movies may depict them to be a guaranteed lifelong connection, but in reality, our roommates just shouldn’t be our worst enemy. The best roommates are the ones you can come home to after a draining day, and not feel self-conscious around. Eventually, they will see you in your best and worst moments (including full-glam for a party or messy hair with blubbering tears). Moreso, they will have to deal with your daily routine—your sleep schedule, study habits, and how often you bring visitors. Whether you end up with a random roommate or someone you mutually select, it is crucial to understand your own preferences and deal breakers in a living situation.
Keep Communication Lines Open
Even after establishing sound compatibility, people change over time. We could discover new habits in ourselves, or observe habits in others we may or may not enjoy. I used to be able to sleep with the lights on, but now I need complete darkness with limited sounds. Not everything about our boundaries can be established beforehand, so it is imperative to keep open communication and address issues as they arise. Even outside of disagreements, just notifying others of changes you make to the room, or who you invite, is necessary to respect the sanctity of that shared space.Â
Leave The Ego Battles Out The Door
It’s always easier said than done, but coming from a person who used to have a passive way of handling disagreements, it’s more productive and relieving to view opposed viewpoints as a chance for compromise. If you are a light-sleeper, but one of your roommates needs a loud fan on, it’s better to discuss potential solutions together than hold your ground for no reason. There’s an art to knowing when to pick battles, and college dorm life compels us to look at the big picture of the experience rather than the nitty gritty checks and balances. This doesn’t mean allowing yourself to be taken advantage of, but rather, knowing when to prioritize the peace of the dorm connection over personal conveniences.
The college roommate experience is a pivotal milestone in many individuals’ lives; I know it taught me how to make independent choices, compromise, trust, and share a space with others. Regardless of if your roommate experience was positive or negative, be proud you took that step in your journey through adulthood. Not many can say they survived one year in a 250 square foot room with 1-2 other people!