The author of this article chose to remain anonymous.
It can be a scary thing to learn that you have an STD—there is an incredible stigma against it in our culture as far as I have seen. Schools often teach you how not to contract one, but forget to teach people how to cope with it if you do.
For me, when I contracted genital herpes (HSV-1), I was scared and confused, and in so much physical pain. The thing about the herpes virus is that it makes sores wherever you have contracted it (either your mouth, in which case you get cold sores, or genitalia, in which you get sores on…well, you get the picture). So walking, standing up, going to the bathroom, everything hurt. And I was so confused; at first, I hadn’t even realized that I’d contracted it until a while after I had symptoms. When my doctor gave me the news, I hadn’t had any societal support or specific education to help me understand how to deal with it.
Dealing with it is hard. Society tends to banish those who are “defective” in some way, so having someone to turn to was difficult at first. I had felt alone, careless, and abnormal, and turning to a friend to disclose this took some time. Luckily, though, I had a supportive partner and a doctor who really cared about my well-being—she had assured me that I was not alone, and that one in six people have the genital herpes virus. And, luckily, the strain I’d had was the less severe one; additionally, she told me that the first outbreak was almost always the worst, so any reoccurrences would be less severe and of a shorter duration. There was also a medicine to speed up the healing process, which was consoling. Over time, I was able to come to terms with it, accept it, and be happy.
So, for my fellow herpes-contractors, just know that it’ll be ok. The internet will tell you that you can get it as often as six times a year for the first year, but don’t believe that, because it’s often not true at all. In reality, many don’t have another outbreak for the rest of their lives. Also, if you do have more outbreaks, they will never be nearly as bad as the first. Don’t listen to negative things that people say about STDs (or their carriers), because you are strong, and perfect, and listening to negative comments never helped anyone. You’ll get through this, just like I did. Trust me.
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