2019 has around one month to be done, and it is comforting to know that I have improved from this year’s adventure. In particular, the enrichment of my knowledge came from meaningful talks. The personal success I obtained makes me realize the benefits in-depth conversations could give us.
I used to hate substantial conversations as much as I hate dull lecturers. I don’t want to get labeled as nagging or annoying. Even when you’ve known a friend for some time, starting deep conversations is risky when you consider the potential for freaking them out and hurting your relationship, especially when topics range from global affairs to personal attitudes. The process of self-disclosure is always a gradual process and a rough time to go through. However, while deep talks might seem intimidating, they also bring us a perk: if we make good use of them, they are conducive to our social being and personal development. Here are a few techniques that help boost our strength in an in-depth conversation.
1. Reduce small talk
It is perfectly reasonable to make small talk about outfits and other trivialities before delving deeper, but remember to keep it precise and quick. You don’t want to keep complaining about the weather. Small talk often occurs while warming up to an encounter. Whenever you are ready, you can move on to the bigger picture of the conversation.
2. Learn what they like and dislike
I know it is hard to predict if someone cares about what you are saying, so we need to be ready to react instantly to changes in conversation. Some safe topic options would include fashion, celebrity news, TV shows, etc. Try to avoid talking about politics or religion on your first hangout. If you realize that the other person is uncomfortable with the discussion, shift the gear right away and mention something joyful.
3. Always welcome possibilities
We need to give other people the chance to tell us their opinions and be vulnerable. If we presume that they don’t have a word to say, we won’t actively reveal our inner minds, either. Hence, we can’t go anywhere beyond shallow conversations. We should withhold judgement until after we offer the other person a chance to express themselves.
All in all, the whole point is that we need to consistently spice things up. We need to exgage in more deep talks that are likely to build up close relationships. If you feel like sharing more of your inner voice, don’t be stopped by your fear and hesitations. It’s pointless to waste time in a conversation where you don’t gain anything, especially when a little extra effort could yield such great results!