I went to Bhutan in order to learn and use a great computer tool and see a gorgeous country; which I did. However, I also became a new me, gained new friends, and interests. My greatest treasures from the trip are the connections I made.
In fact, such a connection led me to India for a Nepali Bhutanese wedding in week two of this quarter. When my friend asked me to join his sister’s wedding my automatic reaction was to say yes. However, I decided to step back and consider it for at least a week. The wedding would last two days, but it was in the middle of the week. Attending would cost quite a bit of money, as tickets to India are expensive! Plus, I would not really be able to hang out with my friend because the wedding would come first. However, going to an Indian wedding would be a once-in-a-lifetime cultural experience.
In the end, I decided to go to India for a full week in order to help with the wedding and to not be jet lagged the day of. And let me say now: it was a beautiful and awe-inspiring event. I did not know quite what I was expecting, but it surpassed every idea I had.
My head is filled with dreams of my own beautiful wedding with good friends and a loving family surrounding me. Of course, in the back of my head, I realize that very few American males would spring for a two-day wedding. I can dream as long as I want!
Some of the best parts of the trip for me were joining the bride’s family in wedding preparations and learning about Nepali culture – specifically wedding traditions.
I really loved that I was treated like family during my trip. First, I stayed at an aunt and uncle’s house, and in the wedding hall next. I had meals with the family, participated in family jokes, and cleaned up (when I was allowed to). I drank A LOT of milk – it is very delicious. I helped with the shopping and taking care of guests. The bride’s mother took really good care of me. She reminded me to rest during the long ceremonies and to go to bed on time. That was really great because several days of running around for the wedding really wore me out. Surprisingly, I was so excited that I sometimes forgot to eat unless she reminded me. She led me around to greet the incoming relatives as well.
There were many people coming and going during the wedding, so I always had someone to greet and tell about my connection to the family. I made new friends among the younger cousins as well, who were in high school or graduating. We were all excited to talk to each other about how our lives are similar and different, and what we do for fun, as all friends do. The male relatives teased me about how pretty I looked in my sari and korta and warned me that I would have a marriage arranged for me. When my henna was done, they looked for names in the design. A couple of the relatives said that with my tikka, I looked Nepali! Perhaps they were joking, whether a little or a lot, but it was fun to be considered beautiful! It’s possible that I was more radiant with the joy I felt at being a such a special event.
I also joined an international family when I decided to join this event. Two couples also came from California. They had volunteered in Bhutan as teachers several years ago and became friends with my friend’s family. The other family came from the U.K. and knew the family from volunteering. They told me all about their travels. I was inspired to think of all the places I could visit someday if I planned and saved.
Some guests asked me if I would consider a traditional wedding like the one we were at. I think they expected me to say no. However, the how of my prospective wedding is not important so much who I would marry. I know that the only way I will get married is if I find someone that I really love and respect. Therefore, if he wants to honor his family with a traditional wedding of any kind, I would gladly accept the choice.Â
I think a predominant reason that I was expected to say no is that a traditional Hindu wedding is considered extremely restrictive. At one time it may have been, but today it’s not a requirement for couples to have a traditional wedding or have an arranged marriage. The bride and groom for this wedding had a partially arranged marriage and decided to have a traditional wedding. I think their choice to honor their culture and families is really romantic. By taking the time and effort to bring their respective families together for a large event, they are already showing commitment and respect for each other. I barely saw a week worth of the planning necessary for this event and I was overwhelmed, I can’t even imagine how much must be done for the whole event. Everyone who arranged the wedding definitely deserves a break now for sure.
During my trip, I learned quite a bit about Nepali culture. Family and Hinduism are very important, and the guests at the wedding are just as important as the bride and groom. Guests ate first and were offered lots of food. We were always treated very respectfully. A member of the bride’s family was usually on hand to greet any new guests that came. Women and men wear tikka on their foreheads for good luck, and married women wear bindis. Most women I met wore a korta, a long sleeved knee length dree with leggings, or a sari. They also usually had beautiful earrings! The amazing people, the fascinating culture, and the delicious cusine are just three of the many reasons why I’ll never forget this experience from my trip.Â
All images courtesy of the author.