College is renowned for the independence, rich social life, and new beginnings it brings. However, like all things in life, the positive attributes of college are bound to include their complementary shadows. Here are some of the struggles I faced when transitioning into university life:
1. No one is aware of you
People love the autonomy adult life can bring: any decision you make is 100% yours, and no one has the energy to judge. Unfortunately, people are equally heedless if you’re sinking. When students face mental health, academics, relationships, or any other issue, no one is readily waiting to lift them out of the water; they must ask for a lifeboat first. If I were failing a class, it would be in my own hands to attend office hours, tutoring, and ask for help; the professor will not personally reach out in concern about my performance. College is a time when you have to care about yourself to stay afloat because no one will be there making decisions for you.Â
2. Loneliness
It is effortless to meet new people in college but challenging to maintain those connections. Before college began, I met many new people through social media and college orientation. Once school started, though, everyone lived on their own schedule, and I couldn’t rely on coincidence to see them every day. Because I didn’t put in the initiative to meet up regularly, I drifted apart from half of them and spent the majority of my days alone. I’d see huge packs of friends at the dining commons or couples holding hands walking to class, and it all felt crushing. “Why can’t I have that?” I wondered. It is completely normal to feel this sense of isolation during university, but in order to have long-lasting connections, it requires frequent communication. If you still don’t feel close to anyone, that is ok. Relationships and friendships are meant to happen naturally, not by force.
3. Peer pressure
Parties, hookups, and drinking: the classic activities that supposedly define college life. There is this idea that if you aren’t partaking in these events, you aren’t living like a true college student. When centered around dating, people would warn me, “College is the best time to experiment: you aren’t gonna get an opportunity like this again.” While that makes sense, casual dating isn’t my cup of tea. Even if I gave in to the pressure, I knew no reward would come out of it, just personal regret that I did something I never wished to. Never let others define what “fun” should be because having fun is entirely up to your interpretation. Keep up the activities you love, and avoid the ones you don’t.
4. Constant Comparisons
The collection of these previous struggles stemmed from this one mental obstacle: constantly comparing myself to others. Rebecca did better than me on the chem midterm. Adam landed a research project, and I’m in zero clubs. I haven’t spoken to a single guy, and Amy already has a boyfriend. From academics all the way to romance, I scrutinized every part of my life. It felt like everyone around me took major strides in their first year, and all I did was crack some books open for midterms. Even aspects of my life I never cared for started molding into insecurities, simply because the people around me were experiencing them. It’s easy to pit ourselves against our peers, but the theme of college life is YOU. After blocking out others’ successes and placing faith in myself, I ended my first year with wonderful accolades. As soon as you begin honing in on yourself, you will find a new sense of pride, confidence, and achievement in yourself.
It is ludicrous that people claim, “Your 20s are the best years of your life, everything goes downhill from there.” The truth is, any and every part of your life can be the best, as long as you make that choice. There’s no doubt that college can be an uphill battle, but appreciate your wins along the way, and you’ll find yourself pleasantly reminiscing over these 4 years in the long run.