You can’t scroll through your Instagram or Facebook newsfeeds anymore without seeing the comment “goals” under at least one photo. This buzzword is typically used to point out that someone else has achieved something that you also want . People often use “Goals” and other phrases like “I wish I were you” or “I wish I could walk a mile in your shoes” as if they’re no big deal, but in reality, they’re extremely problematic.
First of all, many Instagram and Facebook users idealize their lives. Their online photos are essentially the highlights of their lives, not full representations of their day to day experiences. Even in person, people try to put on their best fronts. Most people try to conceal saddness and anger, especially from people they don’t know very well. Since we are not mind readers, we easily fall for their fake laughs and forced smiles.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to have role models. Following someone’s advice or imitating their approach in life can actually help you solve problems and develop a positive outlook on your own life. However, do not go to the full extent of wishing you were that person.
If you knew every detail of someone else’s life, your foot would be out the door in five minutes. That’s because you don’t actually want to deal with their issues any more than you want to deal with your own. You only want the idealized version of that person’s life.
Comparison is harmful to you and to the person who are trying to imitate. It’s a complete waste of time because, let’s face it, you will never, ever be that person. You are two very different people traveling down two very different paths of life. You have different personalities, different backgrounds, and different values. You’re meant to be different, so embrace it. Don’t exalt someone when in truth, they are no more important than you are. If you turned yourself into your favoritet beauty blogger or pop star, they wouldn’t be special anymore and neither would you.
You’ve probably heard this a thousand times, but just be yourself. If you absolutely need to compare yourself, then compare your “present” self to your “past” self. Are you nicer than you were yesterday? Are you in a better mood? Are you studying harder? Are you working out more? Are you eating healthier?
Comparison is a natural reaction, but as soon as you stop trying to live like other people and start focusing on your own life, you will feel so much happier. You won’t want to be anyone else.