I was not a super social person growing up. Typically, I only spoke to the people in my classes or quietly hung around the friends of my friends. Besides feeling like the shyest person in the world, I was also only raised around boys. All of my cousins were boys, family friends and kids were boys; I had a brother and wasn’t super close to my mom around the time. This made me seclude myself from the women in my life, especially girls my age.
Around middle school a shift occurred after so much time of feeling secluded and separated. I noticed that not only had I become friends with girls, but had a whole friend group of girls. With this being middle school and all, maybe this wasn’t the best idea… however, I learned a lot about myself. This group of people showed me the good and the bad. I learned that as much as I crave a group of people, I should not allow myself to be a doormat or a people pleaser in order to keep them around.
Once I figured out the secret, “being myself” (I know, cliche but stay with me), it brought me back to square one. I returned to having fewer friends and eating lunch on my own in a teacher’s classroom. Despite this sounding kind of depressing, I was happy, I learned to be on my own, found a passion for reading, and explored different creative avenues.
Later that year I became friends with amazing girls that taught me who I was—not only by myself but also in a group setting. We had inside jokes, went out on fun excursions, and talked and talked for hours. I can confidently say that being in this environment changed me for the better. With time, we have drifted apart. However, I still cherish that part of my life.
Coming into college I found women who were not only interested in what I was interested in but also shared similar goals and career aspirations. Being in this space truly opened my eyes to all the opportunities around me. Being around women with similar goals and dreams made me appreciate myself just a tad bit more every single day. Truly, it was a different environment that I thoroughly enjoyed. I came into college thinking it would be a constant and scary competition when, in fact, it’s completely the opposite. The best way I can describe it is a hug where you’re jumping and laughing and crying all at the same time. Its ups and downs, lefts and rights, scares and screams.
Ever since coming into college I have held tight to every friendship I’ve made because every single day those women teach me that it’s better to be myself than put myself and others down.
I’m not sure if I’ve just gotten lucky, but I think that if whoever is reading this gets lucky to find people who bring out the best in you, hold on to them. They will be the best thing that ever happens to you.