Over the years, I’ve learned a thing or two about breakups. I know the pain is indescribable. Even if you didn’t love him, you’ve still grown emotionally attached. This doesn’t mean your life is over. In fact, getting over him is a lot easier than you think.
1) He’s not the only one:
Underneath all that sadness, there’s also a little bit of fear. You’re afraid that no one else is going to see you, love you, or treat you the way he did. As the saying goes: “there are plenty of fish in the sea.” I know that’s incredibly annoying to hear, but it’s true. Out of all the men wandering the Earth right now, do you really think none of them are better for you than your ex? You may need some time before you’re ready to search for other suitable partners, but trust me, they’re out there waiting for you.
2) Know your value:
If all you want to do is lay in bed and watch Netflix, stop. Stop it right now! Don’t put your entire life on hold just because of one setback. You’re a strong, independent woman in college and your future depends on your actions now. Make the right decisions even if it takes a lot of effort. Try to focus on your schoolwork and extracurricular activites.
3) Do not call him:
Contacting your ex immediately after you break up seems like a good idea. You’re probably thinking, “hey, maybe we can be friends after all.” The problem is, you’re only setting yourself up to get hurt again. As another incredibly annoying saying goes: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
4) Distract yourself:
Use that anger as fuel. Like Khloe Kardashian said, “The best form of revenge is a great body.” Hit the gym, hit the books, hit anything other than the wall.
5) Treat yourself:
Take some much needed ‘me time’ and go get a massage, a mani-pedi, or a haircut! This will help you relax and hopefully make you realize that you’ll do just fine on your own.
6) Just let it out:
If you feel like crying, then by all means, cry. You’ll feel much better afterwards.
7) Talk to someone:
Hopefully you have at least one good friend that you can confide in. If you don’t, UCD offers confidential counseling.
8) Get some type of closure:
You can reach out to your ex once you’ve had enough time to heal. That way, you’ll both be calm enough to talk things out without getting overly emotional or playing the blame game. If you still don’t think contact is a good idea after some time has passed, you can also throw out all the things that remind you of him. Whatever works for you, girl!
9) Look on the bright side:
You had a meaningful relationship. It didn’t work out, but at least now you can get a fresh start!