Feeling good in our own skin can sometimes feel like a rare occasion, but it doesn’t have to be. We all deserve to be confident within our own bodies and stop the cycle of self reticule, guilt and shame. Although there’s also a huge array of self-confidence resources out there, here are a few simple tips to get started on your self-love journey!
1. Stop. Constantly. Body. Checking.
This can be a hard one to break. Why is it that we can’t stop looking at ourselves?! It is actually quite amazing. If you spend a day counting how many times you check your reflection, you’d be shocked how many times you look at yourself (in windows, mirrors, cameras, etc.). And this can be incredibly unhealthy. We tend to overanalyze what we see in our own reflections, and our self esteem pays the price. This can leave us feeling distracted and embarrassed, even though you are nitpicking yourself far more than anyone else is. It’s unrealistic to never look in the mirror, but I guarantee not much has changed about your appearance in the time between your bedroom mirror and your car window on your way out to work. Constantly checking your reflection places way too much significance on the importance of your appearance – look at a damn tree! Or a bird! But when you do look in the mirror, try and acknowledge what you do like (and perhaps that there is no spinach in your teeth).
2. Quit the negative self-talk
This one has been particularly difficult for me because I used to think, “If I can’t critique myself, how am I supposed to find the motivation to improve in any way?” Well, I found that the answer to that is: encouraging yourself with positive affirmations is way more effective than negative judgment. When you find yourself thinking to yourself “I am so ugly,” “I am so fat,” “I wish I looked liked her,” and so on and so forth, acknowledge the negative tone of your thoughts. Recognize them and begin trading them out with other thoughtful reactions to how your feeling, such as, “Although I don’t feel particularly beautiful, that doesn’t mean I’m not” or “I am proud of myself for loving myself unconditionally” or “I don’t feel entirely comfortable in my body today, so I will do what makes my body and mind feel it’s best, out of love and self care.” Slight shifts of our inner dialogue can be highly impactful on how we feel about ourselves overall.
3. Balance out your comparisons
Comparisons may feel inevitable in our social media saturated society, where flawless images bombard our feeds left and right. However, in the moments that you compare yourself to someone else, instead of automatically placing yourself “above” or “below” them, I encourage you to simply acknowledge their beauty without letting it undermine how you feel about your own. Recognize that it is not a competition and we all have things that make us uniquely beautiful. Try to remember yours, as well as recognize it in others. There is plenty of beauty to go around.
4. Cut out toxic people
Okay, we all need that friend to let us know that the neon green fedora is probably not the best idea, but it is a whole different ball game when you are surrounded by people who bring you down. If you notice your “friends” making negative comments about your body, it’s probably time to cut them loose. You don’t need someone projecting their own insecurities onto you. Instead, make sure to hold on to the friends that make you feel encouraged and beautiful.
5. Revamp your online feed
There are millions of “influencers” today, and many have seemingly glamorous bodies (and lives), yet this portrayed image can be highly fragmented. Although we cannot entirely control what we are exposed to in the media, we are the dictators of who we choose to follow. So I suggest engaging with content by individuals that promote self love and authenticity, and inspire you to appreciate your own body. There are millions of body positive activists online. Engaging with this type of content can allow you to feel refreshed and confident after going on social media, rather than insecure and uncomfortable in your own skin.
All in all, being confident about our bodies and selves can be a difficult thing to do when we habitually engage in self ridicule and comparisons. So I challenge you to implement these few minor tips to improve your self assurance and boost your confidence.
