The Virgin Diaries

The word virgin is synonymous with innocence. To be a virgin means to be pure, untouched and chaste. In today’s society, I feel like being thought of as a virgin is associated with being awkward or weird, super religious or unwanted. I know tons of amazing, beautiful collegiettes™ who are still virgins. So what is it with sex in society today? Is there something wrong with being a virgin in college? Please don’t freak out thinking you’ll be the next protagonist in a 40-year-old Virgin remake. There is plenty of time to find your first.

Some may say it is hard to remain a virgin when it seems like everyone else is ‘doing it’ and, while I don’t personally feel pressure to change this, I know there are a lot of girls who feel compelled to join the crowd. Myself and fellow collegiettes™ have found that the pressure to be sexually active builds up not only because of guys, but because of girls too. “It is easy for me to say ‘no’ to a boy, but it is difficult for me to sit through a conversation with my friends where they all talk about their sex experiences and I can’t contribute anything,” says a virgin collegiette™. 

Have any of you been in uncomfortable situations where you find yourself hanging out with girlfriends as they all talk about their encounters like “that crazy time they did it in the stacks of Peter J. Shields,” as you sit there feeling like a 12-year-old listening to her older sister and her friend gush about their latest escapades? I have, and it made me feel immature and stupid.

Being a virgin is such an overrated thing in college. Guys worry that their peers will think less of them if they still haven’t done the deed and girls sometimes compete with their friends to see who can lose it the quickest. The problem with this mentality is that you could end up losing it on some drunken night, to some random guy, who you may not even remember the next day. This Carrie Bradshaw isn’t necessarily suggesting virgins save themselves for marriage–not only would that be difficult, but there’s the chance of ending up like Charlotte in Sex and the City, married to a man unable to satisfy a woman’s wants. However, collegiettes™ should find someone they feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with. 

This article is not a judgment upon he non-virgins out there. A collegiette’s™ decision of when to have sex and with whom is a personal choice: only the person performing the action can decide when they are truly ready. But for the virgins out there, remember that although you may be getting a lot of flack, in the end it is your body and your morals. If you are waiting to find the right person, don’t give up and have sex with just anyone to be able to say you’re not a virgin anymore. Personally, I would rather wait to find the right person than feel guilty about giving in too quickly. 

It all trickles down to this simple piece of advice: If a collegiette™ thinks losing her virginity will prove her love to her partner, increase her self-worth, or prove her maturity, then she may not be ready to succumb. Once she can disregard pressures from society, respect herself and her body, and know that her ‘number’ is not a sense of validation, then that collegiette™ may be ready. Of course the decision lies with every collegiette™ and the right time will be different for each girl; no two collegiettes share the same body or the same morals, so do what feels right to you. And, hey, if you’re a collegiette™ no longer classified under the “virgin” category this advice still pertains to you: respect and love yourself.