We’ll call him M — for mystery.
M is one of the tallest students here. He has a deep love for brightly patterned shirts. A VERY deep love. Greens, pinks, blues, and paisley, floral, plaid. Simply put, he stands out. M is quite easy to spot from a distance, and you definitely can’t miss him up close.
People love to say that they’re friends with M. He’s tall, he likes to be flamboyant, he’s a real show-stopper. How cool! He’s also openly gay, so he’s obviously an ideal gay best friend.
M is NOT an accessory.
He is more than just the sum of his parts. He is more than his body; he is more than just his colorful taste in clothes; he is more than just his sexuality. He was not meant to be someone you can claim to know or be friends with just because he’s the really tall guy, or the gay guy.
He, like all of us, was meant to be loved for his mind and heart, and for his experiences. He should be appreciated for so much more.
I learned that he dreams of being a lawyer and of protecting innocent people. He’s told very few people — simply because they never ask. He’s scared, too. Really scared, because according to him, the rumor is that there’s no future for law students. M has lived in 8 cities, 2 states, and even the smallest town in California. He’s never lived in the dorms, and commutes everyday from Sacramento. He would do anything for his friends and even invites them to live in his house if they need it. He loves to laugh, but few jokes can really get him to do that.
M is not a character. He’s a PERSON. I wince when I hear people in my class claim they know him just because he’s their classmate and easily memorable because of his looks. It hurts to think how few people know that M dreams of being a lawyer just because nobody ever thinks to ask. It makes me tear up to hear that he thinks he might be an accessory to some of his friends: a conversation starter instead of someone to start a conversation with.
We all fear that others reduce us to the most obvious parts of ourselves. We only let go of that fear when WE stop doing that in our relationships with other people. You deserve better, M. You deserve people that imagine you complexly and people that can understand the reality of who you are and the experiences you’ve had. I hope that someday, we get there.
The reason I call him M? M is for more. We are always more than what we are believed to be.