Alix Earle is an influencer that has emerged within the past year and is most popular for her TikToks. I first felt a connection to her when she made me, a normal twenty-one-year-old who didn’t have Tikok, get TikTok. I loved her “get ready with me videos” because she gave realistic makeup tips and told crazy stories while getting ready to go out. I was hooked because my friends and I have crazy stories that stack up right next to hers. Alix went to Drake’s party? We spent seven nights in Nashville and Brooklyn jumped off a roof last weekend. Alix went on a yacht until 3 am? Brooklyn and I made out with the same guy in Cabo and Autumn was accidentally drugged. It was so refreshing to hear an influencer talk about drinking and going out because I haven’t seen that. Up until this point, influencers were showing their twelve-step, night-time skincare routines while I was eating Jack in the Box on the way home from the bar. Earle once spoke about how she didn’t know if the “influencer thing” or starting a podcast would work for her because the market is so oversaturated. While this is true, she found her niche and it’s the seven girls in my friend group that live and breathe for going out. It’s not the medium that matters, it’s the personality. She’s representing the overbooked, spastic, college girls that have their shit together, but also don’t.
In Earle’s most recent podcast episode titled “Anxiety: From Hospitals to Healing”, she spoke of her struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, and trips to the emergency room after fainting. This was not a light episode; Earle shared the most vulnerable parts of herself. When anxiety was taking over her life and she could only last two hours at school before spending the rest of the day in her bed, Alix decided to go on medication, a controversial and difficult decision for most. While many of my friends have spoken about their anxiety and depression struggles, nothing else has hit quite as home for me. I similarly had panic attacks and would have to leave school because if I didn’t, I was going to start crying in class. The same went for dinner parties and sleepovers, where I would start crying. My friends would ask what was going on and I couldn’t explain it to them because I didn’t know why. I agree with Earle when she considered mental health to be a newer norm. It wasn’t as prominent growing up. Our parents definitely experienced it, but there was no name to the feeling. Having anxiety as a teen is a harsh reality mainly due to the confusion and processing of such big emotions. It was a constant “What the hell is going on with me?” and a lack of words for explanation. When she discussed having anxiety about having anxiety, I really felt for her because that’s when you know you’re in deep.
While both of our anxiety struggles are about six years in the past, it’s surprising (yet also not), that sometimes it can still feel as strongly as it did back then. Personal experiences I have worked through and find myself at peace with ninety percent of the time, can revert me to how I felt at fifteen the other ten percent. Now this is my harsh reality of today; mental health doesn’t go away. Just like Alix, I have spent the past four years absolutely in love with life, and for good reason. Everything I have today, my friends, my college experience, and the little moments that make life worth living, are all a product of my doing and I am proud of it. My anxiety forced me to live the life I wanted because I hadn’t been able to do that for so long. Regardless, we’ve both found that it’s started to trickle back in. I think it’s because I’m transitioning into figuring out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, and who I’m going to be. Anxiety is a natural reaction to this, but due to my past, I’ve exacerbated the feeling. Though, this is not a sob story. I wouldn’t take back any of it if I could. Everyone has their kryptonite and mine happens to be anxiety. I’m okay with it because I will always be there to take care of myself. Thank you, Alix!