I had a terrible freshman year at UC Davis. Like, awful. I came into college with a set of expectations that I was not able to achieve, and suffered as a result. Coming from southern California, my move to Davis was a big change. More than just having to adjust to an entirely new environment, the thought of being a 7-8 hour drive away from home was terrifying.
Retrospectively, I can see now that I was ridiculous in thinking that I would suddenly become a different person in college overnight. I thought the shy, awkward version of myself that had existed for my entire life would suddenly become outgoing and cool (funny joke). What actually ended up happening was that the shy, awkward high school version of myself became intensely amplified with fun, new features such as intense homesickness and hyperactive anxiety.
Long story short, I hated it here. Everything in Davis was a constant reminder that I would rather be back at home instead of stuck in this prison. I had done a bunch of research on the process of transferring schools and had almost made up my mind to do it when I was offered a position as a resident advisor (RA) for the following school year. I told myself, “Okay, give it one more year. If I’m still miserable, I’ll transfer at the end of the year.”
My overall experience as an RA was a disaster (read: “What It’s Really Like to Be a Resident Advisor at UC Davis”). Sticking to my plan, I applied to UCI during fall quarter so that I would have somewhere to go if I decided to transfer out.
But I had a better year than I anticipated. This was definitely not because of my new position, it was because of the new friends I was able to make. Particularly, one friend.
Have you ever met someone who is literally your clone except without all the bad parts? Someone who grew up with a similar background, has the same sense of humor, is gorgeous inside and out, and can deal with all of your anxiety-induced episodes? This sounds too good to exist, but I somehow found it, and I sure as heck wasn’t going to lose it.
Having a best friend is a beautiful thing. She was able to make Davis my home instead of my prison. We did — and still do — everything together. When other friends see one of us without the other, they often ask where the other one is. She is the sole reason I decided to stay at UC Davis. With the right people, or person, around you, you know everything will eventually be okay. Sorry, UCI!
Cover photo courtesy of author