It’s over. It’s been over. You’re in fact – over it. You’ve been over it and it’s obvious. You might miss the times you had with that person, the memories you made, and the things you experienced together. But you don’t miss the person because you’ve moved on. You’ve found someone new and it’s extremely exhilarating. You didn’t think you’d ever get over that person, but you found someone that excites you and makes you happy in ways that you never could’ve imagined.
Everything sounds perfect, right? What could possibly go wrong?
Well… just about everything, if you’re doing it wrong.
1. It takes a while to adjust to a new certain “someone” in your life.
OK, we’re only human, things happen, I get it. It took me a while to realize this and I know I’m not alone. Take some advice from someone who has experienced it hands on. It’ll save you a lot of time and pointless arguments in the long run. To be honest, it only takes away from your happiness – and his. But this new Mr. Wonderful in your life isn’t the dumb little boy that broke your heart. There is no reason to blame him for things that happened in the past. You don’t need to take out past emotions from an old relationship and put them on him. He doesn’t deserve that and neither do you. Focus on what makes you happy. If his name comes to your mind – there is your answer.
2. Trust.
This is a big issue when it comes to being hurt from a past relationship. Sure, maybe your lousy ex lied to you, maybe he cheated, or maybe you just ended things on a bad note. He may have changed your perception of guys completely. You may or may not think that every single guy is now “out to get you.” Honestly, you can only think that way for so long. Put on your big girl panties and move on. Especially if you’ve already met this new amazing guy that shows you a side of himself that he doesn’t share with anyone else. He hasn’t done anything wrong and until he does there is no reason to put pressure on him for not being able to trust him.
3. Expectations vs. reality.
When meeting someone new, you can’t expect them to treat you like the princess that your ex might have. It’s been a LONG time. You’re new to the game, he’s not. You can’t expect him to take you out to dinner every other night or to automatically jump at the idea of meeting your family. Things have changed. Every relationship you have is going to be different mentally, emotionally, and physically. You will get to know each person you date in an extraordinary way. Each connection you make with a significant other will be some kind of beautiful. Take it slow and give it time. If it’s meant to be – everything will work out. There is no need to rush something that is already turning into something special.
4. Stop hooking up with your ex.
Stop texting. Stop calling. Stop snapchatting, Instagram-liking, Facebook messaging, whatever you’re doing – just STOP. Cut all ties. You can’t be “just friends” right after a relationship and anyone who says differently is probably still hooked on their ex. Don’t listen to them. If you continue to open a door that has already been closed you’re only going to bring back the same feelings and problems you had in the first place. It ended for a reason, let it be.
5. Someone is going to get hurt.
In the grand scheme of things, someone always gets hurt. When the relationship ended – you both were hurt. If it’s not you or your ex, it might be this new breathtaking guy that you just started seeing. He doesn’t deserve that. No one deserves that. He’s in your life for a reason now and your ex isn’t. Sure, at one point you really loved the guy that you used to be with, not even he deserves that. The past is the past. The most important thing you can do at this point is to focus on a new beginning and to not get old feelings involved.