First things first—I need you to stop stalking his Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Snap Chat long enough to read this article. If you can manage to do that, we may be able to turn your dating life around. If you can’t, then all I have to say is: Percy, Jenkins and Sir Tuffingtons are all suitable names for the cats you’re destined to own.
1. You Can’t “Be Yourself”
Such a cliché thing to say, am I right? Well, we all try to hold our crazy in for as long as possible when we start dating a guy. This results in the channeling of our “cool chick” persona. “Cool chick” doesn’t care where her guy goes, who he talks to, or if he returns her texts right away. Fast forward three months, and “cool chick” suddenly dies in a massacre of feelings. We are officially fifty shades of crazy and obsessing over all of the actions we had previously condoned.
How to fix this: Lay the law down from the get-go. Verbalize to him what you’ll consider acceptable for means of communication. Instead of instinctively channeling your inner Harriot the Spy, try to enter a blossoming romance with trust intact. Never be afraid to mention what bothers you; a girl who knows what she wants, is a turn on.
2. You Have Unrealistic Expectations
Yes, you’ve been “talking” for a month. Yes, you’ve met his close friends. No, that doesn’t mean he owes you a title right away. Time and time again, we let society form rules and regulations on how we should go about loving someone. Whether it’s through movies or our friends, we are constantly comparing and contrasting our situations to theirs. This ultimately leads us to believe that we don’t have the “perfect guy”. You’ll miss out on a unique experience because you fear going against the grain.
How to fix this: Value the fact that you two are doing things to the beat of your own drum. If you stop over-analyzing the situation and just enjoy each other; you may very well become the relationship that everyone else idealizes.
3. You Don’t Make Him Earn “It”
Some of us are perpetually stuck in the high school mindset of “if I don’t put out, he won’t like me”. We’ve now entered adulthood, where we can demand respect and expect more from our gentlemen suitors. Let me make this clear, any man WORTH dating will be willing to wait for “it”. Giving way to his advances will make him lose respect for you and shows him he has control. You won’t ever make it to girlfriend status, if you start out on those grounds.
How to fix this: Guys will date the girl they respect. They actually enjoy the teasing part that comes along with waiting. While they whine and plead in the moment; inside they’re planning the next time they get to see you. The waiting game will always weed out the losers.
4. You Wear the Pants First
You instinctively want to do sweet things for the great guy you just started seeing. You want to tell him how wonderful he is and show him you care at any chance you get. Guess what? When you act like a girlfriend before you get the title, you take away the chase. You take away his ability to feel like a man and “provide” for you. Men assess how they feel about you, by assessing how they feel about themselves when they’re with you. If he doesn’t have to win you over, he’ll take you for granted and not take you seriously.
How to fix this: Birthdays and holidays are acceptable times to spoil him. For now, let him be the man and spoil you. Chivalry is only as dead as you allow it to be.
5. You Care More About His Interests
He likes to play videogames, go fishing and watch Netflix. If you’re really into him you either pretend to already love all those things, or say how eager you are to try them. Girls like to take on their guy’s interests and hobbies, in hopes that it will make them seem more compatible. If it becomes known, later on, that you don’t genuinely share those same interests; he might resent you for the dishonesty and question your compatibility.
How to fix this: Take a moment to assess what YOU like to do for fun. Guys like to learn and have exposure to new things. If you can introduce them to something that you love to do in your free time, they’ll be eager to try it out. Plus, who doesn’t love an independent girl with her own agenda?