I know you might be thinking I’m delusional for even saying that in a somewhat serious way. As children, we grow up with multiple dreams, among them becoming grown-ups with families of our own and achieving our goals. As teenagers and young adults, we start to realize how the real world actually works and how we don’t want any part in it. Until the end of 2017, I related to the side who wanted nothing to do with being an adult.
Being away from home for school forced me to become an adult, make adult decisions and think in a more serious, mature way. After a year of being at UCF, I started to realize that adulting isn’t as bad as we claim once you start to get the hang of it.
1. Making Decisions
Adulting (v): to do grown-up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown-ups.
As adolescents, we are the coauthors of every decision we make, sometimes not having much say in them. As we slowly leave the leash of our parents/guardians, we start to gain control of the decisions we make in our lives, such as what we’re eating that day, what kind of laundry detergent to use or where to buy groceries. And while these decisions seem small, they are only the foundation of this process.
Soon after, we start deciding what kind of career we really want, where we are traveling next summer and the way we view this world, economically and politically. We get to be in control of our actions and I find that pretty cool.
2. Having Responsibilities
Following the decision-making process, we also start developing and gaining responsibilities: when and how we’re paying rent and monthly bills, balancing tasks at work and school, and building and maintaining relationships with people who surround you. How we shape those relationships is also a burden we will bear. I know this can be frustrating and challenging from time to time because there isn’t really a manual that teaches us how to have a healthy balanced life or how money works. Luckily, we’re a society built on a try-and-error formula, where we can just try again if we fail the first, second or third time.
Having responsibilities or people depending on you shouldn’t make you freak out or doubt yourself. Like a great friend once said to me, look back and reflect on the last five months, on the last eight months, and count your achievements, your improvements, your successes. Nobody put you there except yourself, so while you might be seeking inspiration or reasons, or might wonder how to continue, just look into yourself and see how much you’ve done.
3. You’re Finally Being Taken Seriously
Doesn’t this feel great? Being among other young adults learning and growing respectfully? Holding a job and having your input valued? While this might not be the case in a family or school environment, it is definitely how it works in a professional setting—or it should be (if it isn’t, remove yourself and allow yourself to grow somewhere else).
You should no longer feel taken for granted, underestimated or undersold. We forget this because we’re stripped from this power and we sometimes need a voice of reason to remind us. Here’s yours:
Hi! From one young adult to another—you’ve done so much and you need to give yourself more credit and pats on the back. Don’t allow yourself to be belittled, because you aren’t smaller than anyone else. Breathe in and out, and exercise your voice in any place, moment and time it is required.
Adulting and growing up will always be scary periods of our lives. My mom once told me “You are strong and you are wise. Every decision you make will be a good one, because you thought on it and then decided on it.” You don’t control the outcomes, but you control how you deal with them. Stop looking for a manual on life in other adults, because you’ll be controlled and manipulated. Rather, make your own manual on life and edit it every day.