Dear Justin,
My boyfriend of 8 months is starting to act a little differently lately. He’s been saying that he “needs his alone time,” and using phrases like “I just want some time to myself,” and “I’m hanging out with the boys.” When I worry, he always comforts me and tells me there’s no need to be concerned, but sometimes I can’t help but get caught up in doubt and in thinking the worst. What do I do? Do I trust him? I’m afraid to be that psycho girlfriend. Help me out! Thanks!
-Summer
Summer,
This is such a common concern! Don’t fret doll. Alright, so considering you guys have been together for 8 months, this seems legit. A lot of times it can’t be “us” and “we” 24/7. A healthy relationship absolutely must involve individual personal growth throughout the relationship. Yeah, like doing things separately and exploring new things on your own. That’s healthy! Trust is key. If he says he’s going to the gym, believe him. If he’s hanging out with the boys, they’re probably just playing video games or watching sports, isn’t that what straight guys do? But, by all means, if he acts shady – definitely acknowledge it.
This also means that you need personal growth and development in YOUR life, and now you have time to do it! So go to the gym, take up yoga, have a girls night! What the hell, try some new hobbies – underwater basket weaving – who cares?! As long as it makes you happy that’s all you need to worry about. Take the time when you guys aren’t together and utilize it to enrich your life! Yeah it’s cliché, but do what you love and love what you do.
I hope I helped and definitely don’t be bothered by him needing his space. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t want to be. Always know you’ve done nothing wrong and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect, on top of beautiful and charming. A good relationship with another requires one that’s even better with yourself first, so don’t disappoint me!
Much love, YGBFF Justin.