Photo by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash
“You’re pretty, for a Black girl” is a quote most — if not all — Black girls received while growing up. During my K-12 experience, I remember my friends and former crushes saying this to me.
My younger self thought this was a compliment due to being barely acknowledged for my beauty.
However, as I grew older and self-reflected on my overall self-esteem, I discovered that quote is probably the biggest backhanded insult a Black girl can receive. Furthermore, the quote is synonymous with saying that Black women aren’t pretty, BUT you’re the exception of the rule.
Growing up in a predominately white area affected my self-confidence. My self-esteem and ability to do well in school and make friends were at an all-time low. I was afraid to embrace my Blackness. I’d often straighten my hair to fit Eurocentric beauty standards and lost sight of what made me unique as an Antiguan-American.
Even within television shows and films, it was difficult for me to truly resonate with a character due to the lack of representation of Black girls. Most importantly, if a Black girl was in a film or television show, she’s rarely acknowledged for her appearance, intelligence and perseverance. She’s either recognized for her sense of humor or her anger or is seen as the supportive best friend of the main female protagonist — who was white most of the time. The entertainment industry taught Black girls that they could only provide comedy and support.
I’m here to say that’s further beyond the truth. However, it took some words of affirmation and self-love for me to discover this fully.
I realized that I’m the prize when it came to loving myself. I did this by not letting anyone question my worth again, from appreciating my beautiful and unique hair texture to embracing my radiant skin. Every morning I said affirmations to start on a positive note. Some of these affirmations included:
- “I love the skin I am currently in.”
- “I am grateful for being Black.”
- “The sun does not ask for permission to shine, and neither do I.”
- “I am not an angry Black woman, but a Black woman who will demand respect.”
- “I love myself.”
- “I am the main character.”
By repeating these affirmations every day, I became proud of being Black despite society wanting me to feel otherwise. I was no longer afraid to embrace my racial identity in school and work environments.
I began embracing my black spots and 4C hair because I no longer saw it as something to be ashamed of but something to love. Every other Black girl should be able to feel the same. I hope with my self-journey of fully loving my blackness will inspire other Black girls to do the same.
Photo by Shamia Casiano from Pexels
So, to any Black girl reading this article, please know that being Black is beautiful. You are beautiful. Don’t let Eurocentric beauty standards tell you otherwise. We are all uniquely stunning, from our various shades to our many hair textures. Don’t let society tell you that you cannot pursue higher education or become the best version of yourself because you’re beyond capable. You’re worthy. We, as Black women, were able to overcome the challenges of being oppressed, discriminated and told through media that we aren’t good enough. We are strong, resilient and paved the way for the many innovations seen today. We glisten intelligence through our continued academic excellence, despite the systemic barriers in our way. So if you’re ever feeling not enough, don’t, because you’re more than enough. You’re beautiful for more than just being a Black girl. You’re beautiful for being your authentic self.