When considering the societal roles indirectly placed on women, it goes without question that there is an apparent ideation that comes with the concept of motherhood. Society likes to glorify the celebration of motherhood, yet paradoxically sets unrealistic expectations for women to achieve in maintaining the responsibility that comes with such a role, being quick to criticize those unable to return to the unattainable standards of grace, beauty, lust, and so many other labels all at once.
The contradiction between the embrace of childbirth and the upkeep of a youthful appearance perpetuates a deeper issue in how women are perceived after they give birth. Women are sometimes reduced to evolutionary roots, where their reproductive role precedes their values.
While the world at large continues to see more progressive reform, it’s crucial to consider the societies built on an initial influence from patriarchal control. Although to a comparatively minor degree, these influences are still present and contribute to an ongoing discussion about unethical practices like the so-called “daddy stitch” and the glorification of youthfulness, which call attention to the continuation of harmful perceptions of women after childbirth. Addressing unrealistic expectations of bodies and harmful beauty standards is essential.
The Husband Stitch
The “daddy stitch” or “husband stitch” refers to an extra, unnecessary stitch given after childbirth to make the vaginal opening more narrow than natural. While it’s true that sometimes stitching of the vaginal cavity is administered for medical concerns after birth, the cosmetic practice and desire to perform the “husband stitch” is entirely unwarranted. This procedure is often performed at the request of men with reserved misogynistic beliefs, as they are under the misconception that it will enhance sexual pleasure for their personal benefit. More often than not, the request is fulfilled, and the mother’s consent is often disregarded. As covered in an article from the National Organization of Women, the extra stitch offers no relative benefit for women, as multiple accounts say the procedure only creates intense pain during the transitional period where the body attempts to heal from birth and long-term irritation during intercourse.
Along with the potentiality of long-term health concerns, women are uninformed about procedures done to their own bodies. Whether it’s the doctor having outdated medical training, disregard for bodily autonomy, or even the idea of doing a “harmless favor” for the husband, the lack of informed consent is completely unethical. Yet, it is rarely addressed in a state of urgency. Attention to this practice will ensure that medical decisions prioritize women’s well-being over societal expectations.
Pressures Around Attraction
Through online presence in modern media, men have admitted to viewing their wives as less attractive after childbirth. These statements promote struggles with body image and insecurities for women, as natural changes are blamed for a loss of attraction. Unrealistic beauty standards call for women to keep their appearance youthful for as long as possible despite the natural process of aging and undergoing the changes of pregnancy and childbirth.
This issue resurfaced recently online, particularly surrounding TikTok content creator Avery Woods. For those who are unfamiliar, Woods faced backlash for a podcast where she made distasteful comments about women and the experience of natural birth. Having opted for a C-section procedure, Woods referenced her own experience of childbirth but only reinforced the negative connotations surrounding objectification in motherhood by saying, “I had a C-section, so everything’s pristine down there.” Shaming life-changing accomplishments and the appearance of women’s postpartum bodies reinforces dangerous stereotypes. As an influencer, pressures society pushes onto women are commonly adopted out of insecurity and societal adherence. Still, Woods is contributing to a culture where childbirth is related to appearance rather than strength and beauty.
Impacts and Action
Naturally, these societal expectations forced onto women after giving birth create problems with self-worth, relationships, and mental health. Pressures to look a certain way or damage the body for the benefit of others create a new task for the mother, on top of the baby they are now raising. Changes in medical ethics must be considered, and societal attitudes must stop promoting body image issues. But quite possibly, the most important takeaway is that the behaviors of men who encourage the husband stitch or unrealistic bodily expectations need to be addressed if we are to move away from these harmful notions.