One of the best scenes I have ever seen in a movie was in Barbie when the elderly woman sat beside Barbie on a park bench. Barbie was mesmerized by the stranger’s beauty, as there was no aging in Barbie World. She let the stranger know she was beautiful, and the woman replied confidently, saying, “I know it.” The scene ended with both women exchanging warm smiles.
These lines were powerful and embraced the beauty of aging in a patriarchal world that shames the natural progression of a woman’s aging. A world that would prefer to have the process delayed as long as possible.
Patriarchal societies hold youth as the ultimate beauty standard and link it to a woman’s worth by embedding the idea that older women are sinister, less desirable, less valuable, less of a human, and “expired” if they are without a man. It is often the stereotype of the wise old man compared to the childless, old, miserable cat lady that society loves to portray when it comes to men versus women aging.Â
Companies take advantage of this narrative because they know it will feed women and girls with insecurities about their looks, which they’ve been conditioned to believe is the most important aspect of themselves. Corporations will launch these so-called ‘anti-aging products’ that magically provide wrinkle-free skin. When the product doesn’t work, Botox procedures increase.Â
I started to notice how Disney princess movies portray female villains as older, sinister women who are jealous or full of hatred toward younger women. While I won’t deny that this phenomenon exists, let’s not forget that criticism goes both ways. In media and culture, if a single or divorced older woman advises a younger woman on relationships and provides self-improvement advice, patriarchal societies will convince younger women not to listen to them out of fear they’ll wind up like them.Â
This opens the door for women to be pressured into marriage young with no high (or even reasonable) relationship standards to protect themselves. Instead, they’re fed with insecurities regarding their appearance. Perhaps most importantly, it creates a division between older and younger women when, instead, both should stand in solidarity against the system.Â
Here are five ways to take back the beauty of aging from the society that stigmatized it.
- Redefine Beauty and Self Worth
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The idea that younger women are more beautiful and desirable is rooted in a pedophilic and predatory mindset, especially considering no one shames an old man’s wrinkles. If you ever felt you wouldn’t feel beautiful growing up, ask yourself why. Why would you care about what men, who prefer a woman to have the skin of a 14-year-old child, think?
Your identity is not tied to an age or a man, and you should not feel pressured to get into unfulfilling relationships at a young age because some men may not find you attractive when you’re older.
Many celebrities have started to fight this narrative. We see celebrities like Amy Adams, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears choose to marry in their early forties. Jennifer Lopez married at 52. If they can wait until they find the right person, so can you.
- Find Your Best Fashion Look
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Societal standards for older women’s dress code are usually conservative, designed to hide wrinkles and other natural signs of aging. The truth is that style and fashion have no age. So wear that crop top, skimpy swimsuit, or short shorts. Wear whatever will make you feel like yourself!
Dressing for yourself will make you feel and appear more physically confident. Forget Botox and anti-wrinkle products; instead, embrace the beautiful new layers of your skin that remind you you’ve come this far.
Nawaal El Saadawi, an Egyptian feminist, once said, “They say, ‘Nawal, why don’t you get a facelift?’ I tell them I am proud of my wrinkles. Every wrinkle in my face tells a story of my life. Why should I hide my age?”
- Embrace New Opportunities For Growth
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As you grow older, the world will provide you with experiences that will shape various aspects of your life: career, relationships, self-development, and so on. You will have more opportunities to explore new places, try new things, meet new people, and do so many other things that you didn’t have the chance to do when you were younger.
Aging is a gift for a reason. Imagine leaving the Earth feeling you have not lived to the fullest. Use your experiences and wisdom to inspire younger generations.
- Take Care Of Your Physical Health
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It is never too late to start going to the gym or learning a new sport. As long as you are alive, do it. Your physical health is an important part of your life, so focus on it instead of obsessing over looking younger.Â
According to Healthline, frequent exercise and a well-balanced diet lower the risk of mortality. Want to know another fun fact? According to various studies, women tend to live longer than men.
No wonder they shame us.
- Surround Yourself With Community
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Stay in touch with your family members. Make friends of all ages and backgrounds to expand your perspective. Stay away from toxic people who drain your energy. Have some pets to keep you company at home.
Most importantly, even though community and connection are essential aspects of life, do not forget to enjoy your company. Practice self-compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance. Growing old and evolving your identity and personality can be a scary change. Be kind to yourself!
Every stage of your life holds a unique experience that fills you with wisdom. Be grateful you are alive and have the opportunity to learn and explore so much more than you could imagine.Â