First things first, remove your punching gloves. As much as you probably wish you could rip his hair follicles out of his scalp, it isn’t socially acceptable.
I know, totally unfair.
Evaluate the argument.
Are you overreacting? Is he? Sometimes it helps to map out everything that has happened, from the time the fight initiated, to the current state of the argument. Have an unbiased source evaluate the fight with you. It helps to have a devil’s advocate show you what you may not be seeing.
Take some time to yourself
Let your boyfriend know that you need some time to yourself to think things through. If you continue discussing the argument with him, you’re not going to get anywhere. I promise. It will be full of snarky comments and continue to go in circles. Plus, you may some things out of haste, which the two of you don’t mean. The time away doesn’t need to be a week (unless you think it’s necessary,) it may just be a couple of hours or one full day.
Refrain from being sarcastic with him. It doesn’t even remotely help the situation; it just causes more hard feelings. The cliché “I statements,” really are effective in these cases. You want to try and explain how you’re feeling without being accusatory.
When the time comes, relax and be calm. Sarcasm never works.
Ex: “I feel _____, when _____ happens.” If you’re making a conscious effort to approach the argument like so, I promise it will solve the issue a lot quicker. If he doesn’t reciprocate and continually creates jabbing comments feel free to address that. Maybe he needs more time, or maybe he’s an immature baby. If the ladder is the case, I would seriously consider reevaluating your relationship.
Men are hardwired differently than we are.
Men typically approach situations very differently than women. While we generally take the more sensitive and mindful approach, men try and avoid that at any cost. For example, if I’m acting noticeably upset and my boyfriend was to ask me, “what’s wrong?” my typical elusive response would be something like, “nothing. I’m fine.” Ouch, would you look at those periods. Receiving that message fully loaded with those punctuation marks, can really make your skin crawl.
Ladies, we all do it. While your best girl friends will pry and pry until you finally come out with what’s bothering you, your boyfriends will do the opposite. After MAYBE two or three times of asking they will stop pestering you about it therefore removing himself from you and the situation. Which consequently, makes us even more furious…and the cycle continues. The solution is to just be up front. Don’t make him dig around for an answer. It’s annoying and frustrating. If the tables were turned and he played those games with you, you’d be livid and probably call him a drama queen. See what I’m getting at?
Remember what apologizing means.
If the argument calls for an apology on your end, remember what an apology entails.
“I’m sorry for ________, but _______.” A sincere apology NEVER includes a “but.” It isn’t genuine if you include a defensive remark in between. You are pointing the blame on the other person and including the word sorry; that’s not an apology.
So you’ve reconciled, now what?
Don’t keep surfacing it. Bringing the past up again doesn’t do the two of you any good. It’s over now so put it to rest. If you think you need to continue talking about it, then you’re not completely over it. And if that’s the case, then make that known. But to continue talking about the argument, just exacerbates the issue and causes more problems down the line.