Despite the progress feminists have made worldwide, women’s sexuality remains a big taboo. Purity culture tells women they are “damaged goods,” while promiscuity culture celebrates women’s bodies being consumed by men. So, what do these ideologies have in common? Far more than you think.Â
Initiated in the 90s by evangelical leaders, purity culture is a movement and a belief system that is rooted in shame, control, discomfort, and disgust of female sexuality and desire. It is embedded in the idea that a woman’s value is based on their so-called “virginity” and how they should maintain it until marriage or else she becomes valueless. On the other side, hookup culture and promiscuity culture are when one engages in casual sexual activity such as one-night stands with no romantic bonding or commitment.Â
Purity Culture: The Control Of Women’s Sexuality
There’s a pyramid of how we uphold purity culture in our world. One thing not on the pyramid is forced pregnancies and denial of abortions, labeled as human rights violations. The attack on abortion rights is connected to purity culture, as extremists want to punish women for consenting and enjoying sex. An undergraduate student research journal by Amanda Paul at St. John Fisher University references statistics on students and abstinence-only education groups, and they all have different definitions of virginity and intercourse.
This leads to the conclusion that virginity is a social construct made to control women’s sexuality. Abstinence-only education states have the highest rate of teen pregnancies and STIs due to the lack of sex education. Not to mention, purity culture, in general, makes women disconnect from their bodies, suffer sexual dysfunctions, and lack the ability to orgasm. Overall, purity culture promotes the idea that a woman’s body is either consumed for male pleasure or reproduction and not for herself.
Hookup Culture: Liberation Or Another Trap?
The rise of dating apps in past years has resulted in an emerging hookup culture. As a result, some young women are taught that promiscuity culture or being hyper-sexual is some sort of comeback or payback to what purity culture did to them. However, hookup and purity cultures are two sides of the same coin.
Hookup culture may seem “liberating” at first glance. It encourages choice and pleasure without shame and guilt. However, it also views women as public property to men. It promotes performative sexuality primarily for male pleasure. This leads to women who conform to these rules feeling validated, as the ones who do not participate are often regarded as prudes.
Let’s not also forget that women who have a larger amount of hookups are judged more than men.
Route Towards True Sexual Liberation
To be able to be sexually free outside of the patriarchal lens, you need to start with sexual education. Learn about all bodies and sexual orientations. Remember that you own your sexuality and your body; it does not belong to anyone else.
Before you participate in casual sex, ask yourself: are you ready for this? Do you feel safe, valued, respected? Is the person you are sharing this moment with a good person? Do you trust them? Are you doing this to gain validation from them or because you feel you will benefit from it?
If you choose to wait until marriage, ask yourself: Will you still be respected if you do not wait? Do you feel valued and respected regardless of whether you wait or not? Are you doing this for your own well-being or to please others and fit societal expectations?Â
If you have any regrets when it comes to sexual choices, then don’t beat yourself up. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about your life, past or present. Make sure the moment is based on choice, respect, communication, and pleasure, not objectification and control. Learn about what you enjoy and what you don’t enjoy.
To all the women out there, remember that you are not a virgin, and you are not a whore; you are a woman. A human being. Never let these labels define you and your worth.