Sometimes, the restart we need is back at home. A lot of us feel that moving back in with our families means we failed as adults, but I’m here to set the record straight. Being an independent adult isn’t about where we move or how much we pay to be there: it’s a state of mind.
It’s so easy to feel inadequate in our 20s, especially with the pressures of society. We’re expected to move out, get jobs, and start families because that’s independence, but life isn’t “one size fits all.” Our personal timelines shouldn’t run on someone else’s watch. I thought moving out on my own would solve all my problems; I think it’s a mistake many of us make when trying to navigate through life.
Now, I don’t regret moving out and gaining life experience by doing so, but boy, was it tiring! I laughed and joked and enjoyed life as best I could while living on my own, but those happy feelings only lasted about 20% of the time. The other 80% was spent choosing between affording groceries or gasoline for the week.
I had to stop and think about where I wanted my life to go and how I needed to get there. I spent two years working to pay rent and even that proved to be tough. The struggle was most definitely real! I had to make a tough decision and I decided to leave my apartment… to live with my grandmother. I put my pride and idea of what being an adult is to the side and welcomed the change. Here’s some wisdom about what I’ve learned so far:
- It’s okay to ask for help
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Asking others for help doesn’t make you any less capable of being an adult. You may find that talking to a trusted family member or a close friend can be more beneficial than you think! Not everyone has a great support system, so it’s important to surround yourself with people who truly have your best interest at heart. And remember, you don’t have to take every piece of advice thrown your way.
- You can rebuild yourself financially
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Living with a family member like your parents or grandparents could be easier on your wallet than living alone. I don’t mean that you should take advantage of your loved ones, but have you seen how much rent is these days? You may find it to be a better financial move to live with your family, even if it means sacrificing a little privacy. I wish my grandma would knock more before entering my room, but at least I can afford rent and save money in the process. While you‘re home, be sure to take the opportunity to pay off that credit card or start an emergency fund.
- there are plenty of learning opportunities
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The cost of living has made the possibility of switching careers very difficult: you don’t want to miss any payments, but you feel stuck. I found that my career switch was easiest after moving in with my grandmother. Now, I work from home at a company I can grow and develop alongside. I never thought that would be a possibility for me until after I moved back home.
If you have some free time, try to learn new skills like cooking and sewing. Try out LinkedIn Learning through your university or college to get insight into skills that’ll make your resume more competitive. Opportunity is everywhere but it’s hard to find when all you can think about is surviving until payday.
- You’re doing just fine
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Remember, your living situation doesn’t define how much of an adult you are. How you handle your opportunities and responsibilities is what counts in the long run. You’re doing fine! Life is not a race and you have plenty of time to figure things out.
These are lessons I learned from my experience, though I know everyone will handle situations differently. I just hope you find that place where you can take a breather and make a change for the better. You can do this!