The transition from high school to college is different for everyone. For some it’s like stepping into a brand new world full of possible greatness and brilliant ideas. For others, it’s going from one place of education to another, nothing special. For me it was a little bit of both. You could say I was one of the lucky ones who escaped high school with a plan under her belt. I already knew what I’d major in as well as minor in, what kind of people I wanted as friends, which friends I’d keep in contact with, what kind of guy I wanted, and what I wanted to do after I graduated.
Everything was set, perfect. I knew who I was: An introverted writer with dreams of being Carrie Bradshaw, just with less sex, less debt, and more shoes. But recently I’ve been notified that there is one part of that self-picture that’s completely off the mark.
I’m not an introvert. At least, not anymore.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that our Meyers-Briggs personality types define who we are. But for some of us they are a pretty good jumping off point for as to why we do the things we do and act the way we act. And often enough, the type we get is pretty accurate.
For my entire life the test has told me I’m an introvert. I got drained of my energy at parties, small talk bored me, and I’d rather have been on the sidelines that in control. And when I graduated high school, that’s who I went to college thinking I was.
Then this semester my sorority sister told me her big laughed when she’d told her that I thought I was an introvert. My sorority sister shared the sentiment. At first I was confused. Of course, I was an introvert, that’s what I’d always been and everything made sense in accordance with it. What was she even talking about?
But then she explained. I loved being in the center of the room and in the center of conversations, as a result attention often turned my way by default. I could talk for hours with people and not even realize how much time passed by. I was willing to share my opinions with others, no matter how controversial or how much they would rock the boat. I was an extrovert.
I then took the test for the first time since I graduated high school…and the test confirmed it.
At that moment, I realized: who we are can change without us even noticing it.
I looked back on my high school years and suddenly saw what had been an extrovert masquerading as an introvert out of pure necessity. I went to a small school, rocking the boat wasn’t exactly ideal. Of course, I could talk to everyone. I’d been friends with them since we were in pull-ups or still running to the monkey bars. I’d known them in their awkward stages, and they’d known me in mine. And so, what if I loved performing on stage and liked to take risks? All introverts did that, right?
Apparently not.
It took me a while after this to come to terms with it, but I was happy when I finally did.
Before coming to college, I didn’t want to change. I liked who I thought I was. I was comfortable with that girl, I knew that girl. But now I know that girl was living in a shell, and I’ve finally broken out of it.
Our comfort zones are comfortable, but not always what’s best for us.
So be open to change when it’s presented to you, and relax when you learn it may have already happened. Everything happens for a reason and being our best selves should be one of our top priorities. I’m still the writer with dreams of being Carrie Bradshaw, only now I know a bit more about myself.
Photo credit: 1, Graphic by Author