An old buddy of mine used to live by the saying stay gold. At the time I found it incredibly irritating and not the least bit helpful as he incessantly used these two small words to deal with everything and everyone. But, I’ve recently thought about all it encompassed and can be applied to (and I hate to admit this) but it is quite brilliant.
Derived from the book and film, The Outsiders, stay gold, in the simplest terms, means to stay true to who you are.
I preach a lot about college being the most opportune time to learn about ourselves and experience all life has to offer – the beautiful and the miserable – and I think stay gold is a perfect life mantra to adopt as we endure all the trials and tribulations of life.
We will forever be handed moments to teach us more and more about ourselves in order to figure out that which we truly are. We lose ourselves, find ourselves, and do it all over again. This is how we learn; this is how we grow. But, a lot of the time we disregard all that we are when life gets messy. We do things we normally wouldn’t do, say things we normally wouldn’t say and especially in college, all for the mere need to feel accepted or liked. We conform to unwritten standards that we feel have been placed on us and make us feel inadequate in some way. We throw our dignity and everything we stand for to the wind. We reveal a part of ourselves that isn’t so pretty. We forget what is actually important and compromise ourselves to please others, caring way too much what they think.
But the thing is, none of that sh*t matters.
It took me going through a great deal and changing in numerous ways to ultimately come to this conclusion. We always circle back to who we really are, always return to our roots once we realize the only person we can rely on and should be trying to impress is ourselves. Everything else is so beyond our control and the truth of the matter is that we won’t see majority of these people ever again. All we really have in this life is ourselves. We have to live with the choices we make and the way we make others feel. It is easy to continue making decisions and cloud our own judgment based on what other people think or expect from us.
I understand  people can expect a lot at times, but in those moment instead of neglecting that inner voice, we should acknowledge our truths and our limits and act on those, not what is expected. Not everyone is going to like us, or want to be with us, or stand up for us; not everything is going to work out in our favor all the time. We don’t belong to anyone and no one belongs to us. We write our own story, so we should have a little faith in ourselves and all our capabilities and not give power or credit to those who don’t deserve it.
We should be honest with ourselves, others, and as direct as possible and we’ll begin to find the same attitude reciprocated. It’s not easy; it takes practice and is scary as hell, but worth it in more ways than one. All the dots will eventually connect and being true to ourselves will allow us to be confident in the decisions we make.
Stormy times are inevitable, but remember who you are, have some dignity, hold your head up high and continue on with some class. Life is about moving forward, marching to the beat of your own drum and not caring what anybody thinks. Do what you have to do, for you and really get to know yourself; everything else is mere child’s play.
It hurts my heart to see the people I love and care about lose sight of themselves, but we all have to go through the fire before we realize what matters. We all have the capacity to change for the better and the courage to be who we really are. Once we do and truly stay gold – it’s one of the most rewarding gifts we give ourselves. Â
“One of the greatest tragedies in life is to lose your own sense of self and accept the version of you that is expected by everyone else” K.L. Toth.
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