The Pains of Growing

Growing up is, um…HARD. And no one knows that better than we do. That said, growing up doesn’t always come with the same pains for everyone and everyone takes it a little differently. 

This past week, Grammy Award-winning singer Alessia Cara visited UCF to talk about how she navigates being a young woman in a professional industry, learning to make the decisions that feel right and standing out when you’re so often told you should fit in. Although she hasn’t been to college or university, it was interesting to find out just how much we have in common and how weird growing up is for all of us. Here’s some of what she said and my take on what it means:

On success:

“There’s a place for everyone and everything.”

What defines success for one person may not be the same thing that defines success for you—and that’s totally fine. It’s important to find out what your goals and dreams are without basing that on anyone else’s life or accomplishments.

On the possibility of accomplishing dreams:

“If there’s someone out there doing it, it’s possible for me to do it too.”

It’s so easy to feel like your dreams are impossible to reach. You see other people accomplishing exactly what it is that you want, and yet you can’t imagine yourself getting there. The truth of the matter is, they worked their butts off and got there, so you can too. You got this.

On the symbolism behind the oversized suit:

“Sometimes we feel like we have to fit into roles that are too large. Sometimes life feels like it’s going too fast and you’re not ready.”

College is a time of major growth. It’s a time where you start to figure out who you are, what you want, where you want to go, etc. But college also passes by really, really quickly, and before you know it, you’ve grown up to a point that you’re not ready for. It’s okay to feel like everything is too much. It’s okay to feel like you need to take a step back and realize what’s best for you. You don’t have to be who people expect you to be. Honestly, you don’t even have to be who you expected you to be. You just have to fill whatever role you feel fit for. Live your best life.

On staying true to your brand:

“What makes your life or career are not always the things you say yes to, but the things you say no to… I think sometimes in life we’re afraid to say no, this is not for me. To me, this is one of the first steps to knowing who I was, to knowing and learning who I am and who I am not.”

This is something our parents have been saying since the dawn of time, but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Your friends will still love you if you choose not to go to that event or to participate in that activity that you weren’t feeling. Knowing what you value and where you stand is the first step to embracing who you are.

Advice for college students:

“Remember that we all have a path. We all have a way that we’re supposed to go, and we don’t always have to figure it out… Take it day by day and don’t worry too much about what you’re going to do. Just think, what am I doing today? What am I here to do right now? What do I want to get done today? Know that it’s okay to not have it figured out ‘cause I don’t. I have a great career which I’m grateful for, but as a human, I have no idea. I think that’s the majority of us. None of us asked to be born, we were just born, and then the universe was like, ‘Figure it out,’ so I think we’re doing pretty good.”

Images: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

• 20s
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