Who would have thought that two weeks into college my biggest concern wasn’t homework or roommates, but being kidnapped? It’s true, though. Just so you know, all of that “stranger danger” stuff your mom taught you is not only true, it could save your life. It sure saved mine.
It was around 2:00 p.m. I went to church alone that morning, did a Target exchange, and wrapped up my day with grocery shopping at Walmart. I only had one more stop: the Dollar Tree right off campus. I was planning on getting some Halloween garland to decorate the living room of my dorm. It’d be a quick trip, five minutes tops.
I pulled into a parking spot, maybe 200 feet away from the store entrance. I had my keys, phone, wallet, and then thought to myself: Dammit! I don’t have my pepper spray. I usually carry pepper spray 99.9% of the time. I had taken it out of my purse for the football game earlier that week and had completely forgotten to put it back in my bag. I figured I would be fine considering it was broad daylight outside.
This is a choice I would quickly regret. But hindsight is 20/20, so I got out of my car and walked into the store. Once I entered, I immediately noticed a man in the checkout line staring at me as I opened the door.
It wasn’t one of those awkward accidental stares either. He kept staring at me—no smile—just staring. Instantly, I got an uneasy feeling. I began to try and memorize his physical features: tall, average weight, Black male, in his 20s or 30s, slight facial hair. My mental log was quickly cut off as I noticed the man staring at me had left the checkout line and was following me around the front of the store.
I texted my friends, still not completely aware of the danger I was in: “Getting followed I think..? Very demure.”
Looking back, I would be so pissed if those were my last words ever sent out.
As he continued to follow me from a distance, I went to the bathroom and locked the door. I let myself think over the entire situation occurring: A man is creeping me out. He stared at me as I got out of my car, and now he’s following me. I have no doubts he is following me. I’m not safe right now.
I sent my friends another text: “Definitely being followed..hiding out in the bathroom. WTF do I do?”
I walked out of the bathroom and saw him leaving the store. I walked towards the front windows, hiding myself behind the garlands that lured me into the Dollar Tree in the first place. I watched him get into his car—a black Mercedes, sedan, no chrome around the windows, dark dark window tint. He didn’t leave, he simply moved his car, backing it into the spot next to mine. This meant that for me to get into my car, I’d have to get past him first.
Realizing the danger I was in, I texted: “He moved his car next to mine. He saw me get out of my car so he knows it’s mine. He backed in so his driver-side door is right next to mine. Black Mercedes. His lights are still on. I’m just going to wait for him to leave.”
I hid with the garlands and waited 10 minutes for him to leave, but he didn’t. Fully terrified, completely unarmed, and the only person in this store aware of the situation I was in, I started to think of how I was going to get out of this Dollar Tree. I tried to find a man who could walk me to my car, preferably one that looked a little intimidating. I went up to the cashier. He was college-aged, tall, athletic—he’d probably deter the man waiting for me in the parking lot, right?
So, I asked him: “I’m sorry. This probably sounds so weird, but there’s a man who has been following me, and now he moved his car next to mine. Could you please walk me out to my car? I’m really scared.”
All my adrenaline was wearing off and I could feel myself about to cry as I asked for his help. He hesitated and went to grab another worker.
The woman who was ahead of me in line, maybe in her late 30s, looked at me with what felt like heartbreak in her eyes, “I’m so sorry, honey. That’s horrible.”
Before I could respond, the cashier, followed by who I can only assume was his manager, said, “She’s gonna cover the register, I can walk you out.”
So, the two of us walked to my car. I paused right in front of it knowing, even with my escort, the man in the car could grab me anyway. I was stuck.
Adrenaline kicking back in, I ran into my car and slammed the door, locking it as soon as I could. While I was getting into my car, the other man opened his car door. He was trying to grab me. He closed his door and began to lay on his horn, yelling and motioning for me to roll my windows down. I was hysterical at this point, trying to back out of my parking spot. He pulled out before me and used his car to block the exit of the parking lot nearest to me. I had to reverse the opposite direction and drive away. The moment I was able to get away from him, he sped off the other way.
I called my parents who immediately knew something was wrong. I explained what had just happened between sobs, and they sent me the UCF PD number, which is (407)-823-5555, and told me to get an escort to my dorm after driving a few laps around campus to ensure he was not following me.
I called the number and told them everything that had happened. The operator asked for a few more details before sending an officer to escort me back to my dorm. I was greeted by an understanding officer, who even helped me carry my groceries up two flights of stairs in the pouring rain. Once inside, the officer asked me to re-explain exactly what happened. She relayed every piece of information over her radio, got my ID, and encouraged me to file a separate report with the Orange County Sheriff’s Department. After she left I filed that report and spoke with two more officers.
Later, I found I was not this man’s only target. After posting a brief account of this incident as more of a PSA to all the women at UCF, I was met with a comment from someone who experienced a very similar situation. He followed her around the store until she went and found an employee. Another mother wrote on the UCF Parents Facebook Group that her daughter was followed only three miles from campus. Same man. Same car. Same behavior.
That’s at least three separate incidents of this man targeting young college women in a two-day timespan. These three instances have all been reported to the police. Hopefully, proof that this was not just a one-off misreading of a suspicious situation, but a dangerous man with horrendous motives will prompt a serious investigation.
I’ve taken five safety tips from Nicole Bedera & Kristjane Nordmeyer’s research on risk reduction for college women and added some insight I’ve gained from my experience.
- Be aware of your surroundings
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- Be aware of your surroundings. Keep your head on a swivel, no matter where you are, what time of day it is, or who you’re with.
- If you think someone is following you, don’t let them out of your sight. I went to the bathroom to try and get away from him, but if I had stayed there a second longer, I would have missed him getting into his car and moving it next to mine.
- Trust your instincts
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- You’re never overreacting. Follow your gut.
- Report everything. Even if you think it’s a one-off incident or you overreacting, you could be helping build a case against someone dangerous. Save the numbers I put in this article to your phone.
- Don’t call your friends, call your family. I still regret not having my dad on the phone in this situation.
- Be assertive, don’t be afraid to make a scene
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- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. That cashier could be the only reason the man hesitated before opening his door while I got in my car.
- Let them know you see them following you. Take a picture of them, but don’t make it obvious. Text the photo to someone else so you’re not the only one who has it. Take a second photo and make it obvious this time. Tell them you see them following you, and be loud about it. If they make you delete the photos, the person you sent the first one to will still have it.
- Avoid being alone
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- Try to avoid running errands alone if you can. I’ve been in college for two weeks and this happened the one time I went shopping by myself.
- With that advice, Don’t rely on your friends. I know I just said to never be alone, but don’t let your friends give you a sense of false security. A grown man can easily overpower two young women. Don’t let your friends make you less aware of your surroundings.
- Take a self-defense class, and know your weapon!
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- UCF offers a self-defense class, take it!
- If you carry pepper spray, test it! Learn how to use it effectively. It’s currently the only form of self-defense protection allowed on campus, so buy multiple. Keep one in your car, on your keys, in your bag, or wherever else it might come in handy.
After dwelling on this for a while, I’ve realized just how lucky I am. If I hadn’t seen him get into his car and move it next to mine, I would have had no idea he was waiting for me. I would have had no escort. I would have easily been kidnapped. I wouldn’t be writing this article now. The realization that danger like this actually exists in our world was a horrible one to come to understand firsthand. Making it out of this situation has allowed me to understand the importance of these safety tips, and I hope you understand the importance of them too.
Stay safe UCF, it’s crazy out there.