Having an older sister is by far one of the best parts about my life. I could rely on her for advice, clothes, support, and for some good old fashioned girl time. However, being the younger sibling of an exceptional older child was not always easy.
My sister set the bar high for me. She is finishing up her last couple of years of medical school to fulfill her lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. For years, I jumped on the bandwagon and claimed that as my career aspiration too.
Although I knew that I brought my own set of positive traits to the table, people were guilty of comparison. Teachers for example would say: “Oh, you’re ___sister?” “How is ___?” “Your sister never did that.”
My sister had paved such a positive reputation. So, I had to work extra hard to make a name for myself.
I call this: The Solange Syndrome.
Most of you do not even know who Solange Knowles is without me giving the disclaimer that, yes, she is Beyonce’s sister.
She has achieved numerous accolades, yet her main epithet is being a sister. Isn’t that unfair?
I connect with Solange and her struggle on a spiritual level. She is more than just Beyonce’s sister.
She is an artist, a mother, an actress, social activist and more. It was not until this year that she won her first grammy for Best R&B Performance. She has proven that she can be successful in her own right.
I have learned to be my own person too. If you are living under your sister’s shadow, here is how to see the light.
Do You, Boo
The best way to be seen as an individual, is for you to act like one. There are so many roles in this world, but no one plays you better than you. Never try to do things just because your sister got positive affirmation from doing. You are your own person. Even if you and your sister are interested in the same hobbies, find your own voice and style within that same hobby.
Make Your Own Destiny
It is not uncommon to see two sisters going into the same career paths. While that is not a problem, sometimes you have to question, are they both passionate about the same thing. There was such a liberating feeling when I realized that one of the main reasons I “wanted” to be a doctor was because of my sister. I am now pursuing a completely different career as a television journalist and I could not be any happier. Be cautious that you are not living out someone else’s dream.
Be Your Own Definition of Great
The best way to shut up comparison is to be incomparable. Work hard on achieving your goals. When you are making progress in your own life, people will start to see you and your sibling on an equal playing field. You will notice that you all are both appreciated for your unique differences.
Everyone has something to bring to the table. Remember you are special and unique in your own way. Being a sister is great, but never let that be your only definition of who you are.
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