Talk Nerdy To Me: Soundtrack Your Life With Spotify (and 5 Awesome Tunes)

The need for self-expression is at an all time high as we blast our innermost feelings on our Facebook walls more quickly than your mom put an A+ on the refrigerator – and hey, posting about your 110% on your BS elective’s exam may be positive, but it’s still obnoxious.  The thing is, whether they are venting via status about the latest tribulation of their love life, “bragging” about how they don’t remember last night, or complaining about how they have a test the same day that they have a ingrown hair, people are over-using their ability to narrate their oh-so-significant lives to the apathetic masses or send a not-so-cryptic message to a special someone (by sending the message to absolutely everyone!).
 
Thankfully, there is a more subtle, mutually enjoyable way to tell people about your life.  Everyone knows that the music you listen to can reflect your mood, but being the 503rd female on somebody’s friends list to quote TSwift lyrics in your status about the guy who made you cry teardrops on the guitar you don’t play or strode in on a “White Horse” he can’t afford a little too late only makes you look desperate and needy. Instead of stealing the prose of a chick who fell in obsessive love with approximately 200 men before the age of 20 then publicly humiliated them by name, try showing your social networking circle what music you’re listening too.  It adds an air of mystery, and the cool points gained from the obscurity of your favorite artists can only help your online image.  This is where Spotify comes in.
    
Spotify is an online application that allows you to stream almost any song that you can possibly think of through an iTunes-like interface for free.  You have to deal with a few commercials, but it’s more reliable and efficient than searching for individual songs on YouTube, you have more control than on Pandora, and you don’t have to live with the pangs of guilt flowing through your peg leg as you pirate music through torrents and drink rum.  If you want to pay a little bit for the premium version, you can even play songs on-the-go by using your smart phone.  You can create playlists that can be public or private, and you can make sure that every song you listen to shows up on Facebook.  The best part is, you can turn off that option before listening to Justin Bieber and on again as you play “Ridin’ Solo” with the volume down, notifying your Facebook friends of this selection in order to portray an independent and free-spirited newly single person, even as you are really blasting Adele on your iTunes and last night’s vodka is pouring out of your tear ducts.

While Spotify aims to be a music-integrating tool that combats piracy and re-invigorates the industry, it can also be considered a way to express your feelings and great taste.  Here are some common life scenarios that you may be half-wanting to tell your friends you’re going through, as well as some hip songs to sort-of-tell-them-but-mostly-leave-them-guessing what’s going on.  Of course, I realize that this is giving you embarrassing insight into my own life, but let me preserve my integrity by saying that when I am listening to rap, I truly am f^@9ing b#%&hes and getting money.
 
1.  It’s over…but not really.  
            -“Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye
            Removing yourself from a toxic relationship can be a long road, littered with Facebook stalking and urges to retrieve those $2 Old Navy flip-flops you didn’t really care about just to see that jerk again.  Even if you realize that somebody is not right for you, you can’t help but look back and think, “When the hell did the other person screw up everything?” While the other person thinks, “When the hell did the other person screw up everything?”  Hey, you’re allowed your grieving period, and being a little bit pissed that the person you know you shouldn’t be with is moving on is natural.  I mean, if he or she couldn’t be happy with you, they shouldn’t be happy with anybody! Tell your friends what you’re thinking, as well as how up on music you are with these relatable lyrics, mesmerizing vocals, and a beat that’s as addicting as “certain kinds of sadness.”
 
2.  He’s just not that into you.
            -“Crave You” by Flight Facilities
            You’re not the type to run around blowing kisses or anything, but you know you get a lot of attention.  You never go out without looking your sexiest, and even though you’d never give all the frat boys in tablecloth shirts a second glance, your bestie makes it a point to let you know that everybody looks at you when you’re having a whiney “I’m fat and ugly” day.  Okay, so you saw them in your peripherals too…but your voluminously lashed eyes were set on the hottie in the blazer as he stood at the bar looking everywhere but in your direction.  Naturally, you want him.  Like, who ever actually likes people that kiss their ass?  Gross.  He’s probably just playing hard to get, anyway.  Regardless, you can’t stop chasing him, even as other guys are falling at your feet.  Trip him.
 
3.  It’s Complicated.
            -“Heartbeat” by Childish Gambino WARNING: EXPLICIT
            Avoid that awkward moment when the guy you’re talking to sees that you gave into the impulse to utilize the socially unacceptable relationship status, “It’s complicated,” while he stays “Single” in order to have his cake and eat it too.  Okay, if anyone has cake, they should be eating it, but I’m referring to that guy juggling you with his other options.  You know he’s out with his number two because she just creepily checked him in on Facebook, even though he did not approve it yet, which you know because you’re Facebook stalking him because you declined your other Friday invitations on the off chance that he would text you.  OMG, maybe you’re not his number one.  Wait, why don’t you just ask him where you stand? Oh yeah, because that’s romantic suicide. Besides, you’ve had a poker face on this whole time, why tell him you’re not playing the player card now? Blast this while you’re hooking up with somebody else and hope that he reads the lyrics and starts seriously pondering where you fit into his predictable life.
 
4.  I am choosing positivity.
            -“Don’t Kick the Chair” by Dia Frampton
            Everyone needs a few pick-me-up songs to promote a happy day when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed.  This particular tune has a slightly less macabre way of saying don’t hang yourself, because things will definitely get better.  What is more comforting than hearing Kid Cudi rap to you that if he can make it through (albeit with a lot more money and drugs than you), then you can too!?!  Spread the message of motivation!
 
5.  YOLO!
            -“Starships” by Nicki Minaj
            As a college student, you’re notoriously broke, so obviously you’re going to save everything you make working at the campus computer lab.  Haha, NOT!  You’re obviously going to spend your chump change on beer.  And why shouldn’t you?  You only live once.  You’d never be able to pay rent with your measly paycheck from the campus bookstore, anyway.  Besides, it’s not like you could work on Taco Tuesday or Ladies Night Thursday…or Friday or Saturday, because that’s when you’ll be taking advantage of being way too hot to pay cover and dancing your bad midterm grades away.   Bump this in your hoopty and think about how money can’t buy you happiness.