A couple of months ago, I was sitting in the passenger seat of my dad’s car, as usual, listening to NPR New Hour, a shared radio show that we both enjoy. However, what was interesting about this particular car ride was the topic being discussed: the recent statistical decline of young women, particularly of Gen-Z to Millenial age, who want to have children. As a young college student myself, I could relate to this phenomenon. Like many women my age, I was hesitant about having children. I was concerned about my financial stability in my adulthood, the mounting cost of living that was certainly increasing, and the issue of whether having children would fulfill or make me happy.
As I discussed the topic with my dad, an extensive argument brewed. My dad did not understand why I was hesitant about the situation. He believed I was being selfish and only thinking about myself, and thought that having children was an amazing opportunity and that I was somehow “robbing” the world. He even argued that women who don’t want children are “inconsiderate,” and are only concerned about themselves. Disheartened and hurt, I pushed the argument into the back of my mind, not wanting to think about the situation.
It turns out that I wasn’t the only one harboring this sentiment. Conducting more research and talking to other young women my age, I found many Gen-Z women have also been interrogated about their choices, with family members and friends telling them that they’ll “change their minds,” and that they “just haven’t found the right person yet.”
Despite these intrusions, they’re not alone: 44% of non-parents aged 18-49 say that it’s “not likely” or “not likely at all” that they’ll have children someday, a Pew Research Center Survey reports.
Andrea, 21, a student at the University of Central Florida, is one of these women. She’s a double major in Political Science and Economics and is planning to attend law school. She’s skeptical about having children: “The simple answer right now is just economically speaking, it doesn’t seem feasible…it would hinder my career ambitions.”
According to the Pew Research Survey, the reasons women give for not wanting children range from financial to medical, to concerns about the state of the world and the environment.
“Would you really want a person who doesn’t want children to have them and be forced to raise them? Do you think that would be a comfortable family dynamic?” Andrea asked.
Instead of shaming women for their personal choices, we should be facing the root cause of why they feel the need to be hesitant towards the prospect of having children. For decades, there’s been this assumption that if you’re someone who identifies as a woman, you have to be married and have kids of your own as you emerge into adulthood. This assumption, however, is falling away. We’re part of a new generation that doesn’t want to be put into boxes. We should be able to carve out our own space and have the power to make our own decisions, and I hope that in the future, every woman can have the choice to make theirs.