I am a firm believer that the reason kids (and myself) felt such “joie de vivre” every Wednesday night was because we were fortunate enough to witness the jaw-dropping outfits Miss Fran Fine decided to wear that evening. After countless hours of imagining what it was like to be on set with exquisite, hand-catered outfits at my fingertips, I had the foolish idea of thinking I could easily recreate these outfits with the clothes I already possessed in my 2×6 closet. Please join me as I attempt to live my own Fran Fine fantasy.
- Monday
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Dear, sweet Monday, you are universally known as the stinkiest day of the week, and I have no other choice but to agree. Oh, how badly I craved the oversized t-shirt on my tired body (sksksks), but there was no time for my selfish desires. I had one thing and one thing only on my mind: to be the “flashy girl” from Flagler. (If you go to UCF, this is funny. If not, I apologize).
So I got out of bed, put on my favorite turtleneck, and set off for my journey. I’m positive you’re all itching to know where I got these pieces from and I can almost assure you they are all probably from Goodwill, or it’s not so friendly twin, Plato’s Closet. I made the conscious decision to leave the pink vest on its clothing rack and put my ferocious mane into a half-up, half-down style, and, of course, added some accessories. As far as the shoes go, I had no idea what she was wearing, and my wallet would also like to remain ignorant of that fact, so Reeboks would do. My last statement to start off the week is to inform you all that these outfits are just inspired by Fran, not an exact replica of them, so please do not destroy me.
- Tuesday
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I had many inquiries this day. Was it a fashion faux pas to wear a skirt two days in a row? Maybe. Were my thighs beginning to form an astoundingly itchy rash between them? Also maybe. I had to regain my focus, these were not the important questions at the moment. Let me start off by saying that I will never be able to comprehend how beautiful Fran Drescher is. It seems that she really does do THAT every time. I would also like to restate that I have very limited options for what I can wear, as I solely shop at thrift stores, and not just because it’s cool.
Nevertheless, to my amazement, I found this adorable checkered skirt which, unfortunately (for her, not me) had to meet its maker: my dollar store scissors. Luckily enough, I also came across a red turtleneck but alas, both of these were too large for me. So, as the innovative queen that I am, I took hair clips and clipped all of the extra fabric to the back with hopes that no one would notice. My uncomfortable star earrings cried for a day out on the town and I abided, only wanting the best for my babies. In turn, my earlobes also wept.
- Wednesday
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Let’s keep this one short and sweet. Yes, this is quite possibly the worst outfit I attempted. And yes, I am disappointed with myself, but I can only simply try to be inspired by Ms. Fran Fine. This was the necessary but very rude awakening that I am not at my full potential to truly embody her spirit. So, my dear readers, please forgive this horrendous attempt of me trying to swoon you with my Dwayne Johnson jersey and old dance tights. Special guest appearance from my blue DSI.
- Thursday
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Now, normally I would have saved an outfit like this for a Friday night because, let’s be honest, I look amazing. But I had something even better planned for that day, or at least I hoped it would be. For this ensemble, I knew there was no way that I would even find something similar to this in a Goodwill, so over to the local craft store I went. I bought a few purple fabrics, wrapped and clipped where I could, happily let my hair down for once, put on my fanciest, skin-staining jewelry and called it a day. Also, not to be lame or anything, but this outfit took a lot of confidence for me to actually wear in public and I loved to see it. So take that, Cece.
- Friday
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When I first discovered this photo of Fran in this stunning outfit, I had mixed feelings. I had never worn business casual, could I pull it off? Did I even know what business casual was? (I did and this was definitely not it) Also, how was I going to make this look as effortless as she did? I had no idea where someone would even find pants like this (it actually came up on my first Google search) and I was not about to try looking.
So there we were: me, my brushes, some paints, a pair of old Levi jeans, and nothing but time, baby. Actually, scratch that, I had everything but time. My recent reduction in hours was due to a priority I now held; I recently became a member of a new group chat dedicated to the memorialization of our dear One Direction. Always loved, never, ever forgotten. In my free moments, I attempted to paint some clouds on my jeans and did a pretty adequate job if I do say so myself. Enjoy my knock-off Moschino pants!
When I started this adventure, I was trying my best to recreate her photos exactly the way I saw them (we all remember Wednesday’s horrendous picture). I was trying to do the exact pose, facials, background, everything. All that did was make me frustrated and compare myself to her. Not to be yucky and deep but I genuinely learned a lesson while doing this: I was allowed to admire Miss Fran as much as I wanted to, but I was also allowed to look different than her and still be able to admire myself. Okay, gross part over. I hope you enjoyed watching me live my Fran Fine “fantasy” and I may or may not have many more to fulfill (wink wink). Oh, and I also refuse to buy a vest ever in any color. No hate to any avid vest wearers, I simply cannot pull it off.