When you think of the word “ambitious” what do you think of? Do you think of an unapologetic, successful CEO? Or maybe you think of the fierce queen that is Beyoncé? Whatever or whoever you thought of, I am sure the word “insecure” did not come up.
I am lucky enough to say that I am pursuing my dream in college, which almost makes the experience a little more nerve-racking. Many people who are pursuing their dream in college want to go above and beyond in their classes, get involved, and join clubs relating to their major. The ambition within these kinds of students is almost astounding. It is refreshing to see people care so much for their future.
As a freshman in college, I can assure you that I do not have my life together. Yes, I care for my future. Yes, I have ambition. Yes, I am also insecure. Some say that when you go through a transition period in your life you can’t help but feel small and unsure of yourself. I guess I have been going through a transition period all my life. Being in college did not spark my pre-existing insecurities. For the 19 years I have been on this earth, I can say that I have never always been 100% sure in myself. I have always had big dreams and planned out my life to a tee (probably due to my Type A personality), but I also have doubted my ability to reach those dreams.
You can have big dreams and be determined to make them a reality, but the feeling of not being good enough is hard to shake off. When you earn something that you worked hard to get, you almost feel like a fraud. You worry that someone is going to figure out that it was just dumb luck. It took time for me to separate luck from hard work. If you are getting good grades in your classes, getting into the club of your dreams, or getting accepted into your major I am pretty sure luck did not get you that far. Lighten up and give yourself credit.
Take a step back and go over what you have accomplished. There is no shame in feeling yourself when you know you are on top of your game. Women are often taught to be subtle when they succeed. It comes off as bragging or stuck up, in nicer words. There is nothing wrong with being confident in yourself and your abilities. Even though I learned to ease up on myself, I still have insecurities. I don’t think those will ever go away, so I just embrace them. To an extent, I think having doubts is healthy. It’s not the best feeling, but in my experience it pressures you to work harder. Everyone has insecurities, including Beyoncé. I’m not sure what on earth they could be, but I’m sure she has them. If she can run the world with insecurities why can’t you?