Scenario: You’ve been seeing this guy for about a few weeks now and you think you’re just about ready to take your relationship to the next level. You’re finally ready to French kiss! No, I’m just kidding. If it’s been a month and you haven’t been smoochin’, that is a whole separate issue in and of itself. Oh, and if you’re still using the term “French kiss,” …let’s not even go there.
So, you finally muster up enough courage to bring this guy into your female sanctuary. Ha-ha, no pun intended. You tell him to make himself at home while you go freshen yourself up in the bathroom. But as you lift up your shirt to examine what you’re working with, you instantly remember exactly why you shouldn’t have ordered the Fettuccine Alfredo at dinner. So what do you do?
As females, being self-conscious practically runs in our DNA. We are constantly bombarded with numerous expressions that convince us that our bodies need changing. For example, the famous, “You can never be too thin,” and my personal favorite, “You can never be too pretty.” And for what? Why does it seem like we have no other choice but to succumb to this mentality? Because, we want to appear attractive to the opposite sex, and these days being skinny and flawless is absolutely crucial. Now, before you put up your defensive wall, just think about it. Yes, we all want to feel good about ourselves, but the majority of us would probably feel just as content with ourselves without losing the extra 10 pounds, and without applying full coverage foundation. But I promised myself that this wouldn’t be one of the many default articles telling you to “learn to love yourself before others can love you” deal.
I’m definitely not trying to change the societal mantra that has been so carefully constructed over the years. What I’m wondering is, after all is said and done…do we keep the lights on or off when we’re in between the sheets?
Let’s go back to our scenario for a minute. You know you need to come out of your bathroom at some point. So should you change into some cute pajamas and force a yawn out to make it seem as if you’re just interested in cuddling and falling asleep? That way after cuddling with the lights off for five minutes pretending to be tired, it can easily turn into something more.
Or should you just take the bull by the horns, put on your sexy face and go for it? I mean, he’s clearly already into you, right?
Answer: In black and white, the choice seems obvious, I’m sure. But the fear of thinking that your partner is going to take one look at you and bolt towards the door is so entirely overwhelming that we try everything and anything to avoid a potentially humiliating situation.
Nine times out of 10, that won’t happen. If you’ve been with this guy for that long and he’s still taking you out and introducing you to his friends, that should stand for something. Spanx can’t conceal everything, as much as we’d like for it to. Like I said, I’m not going to sit here and tell you how we should all “love our bodies and embrace our inner beauty,” because I’ll be the first one to admit how tacky, cliché and completely unhelpful that is. What I am saying is, guys are always attracted to confident girls, and even though your insides might be lacking in the confidence department when you step out of that bathroom, fake it til’ you make it, girlfriend. Pretty soon, that front will start to develop into natural confidence. I guarantee it.