When I tell people I never want to have kids, they are shocked. They laugh off what I’ve said and say I will change my mind when I get older. That reaction always makes me feel like what I’ve just said isn’t being taken seriously, even though I genuinely meant it. Growing up, I had a 20-year life plan that included getting married and having kids. The older I got, though, the more I realized that the only reason children were in my 20-year life plan was because that was expected of me. Here are a few reasons why I decided I never want to have kids:
- Financial Stability
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I have seen time and time again women and families who had children because the time felt right even though they weren’t financially stable. I don’t want to burden myself or a child with financial instability. People who have kids should be prepared to provide everything a child needs whether it be diapers or a college fund. This task can be difficult because children are expensive and they only get more expensive the older they get. The financial aid system in America is not the best and higher education is only getting more expensive. It would be selfish to bring a child into this world that will expect them to attain an undergraduate degree without having the money to help them achieve that.
- Freedom
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I like to travel. I don’t just like to travel through, I like the idea of being able to pack up all my things today and getting on a plane tomorrow. However, with a child, that becomes much more complicated. If you leave the child behind with a sitter, you’re seen as selfish and as a terrible parent. Technically the child could travel with you, but no one likes a crying baby on a plane. Even if your baby doesn’t cry on the plane, the activities you could do on a trip are limited. For example, I would love to travel to Tokyo one day and get on all the rides in Tokyo Disney, which would be much harder with a child.
- My Body
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I don’t like the idea of having to carry a baby in my stomach for nine months or of my body swelling up in areas that shouldn’t swell, like my feet. I don’t love the idea of cravings, morning sickness, mood swings, postpartum depression or anything else that pregnancy comes with. I most certainly do not love the idea of having to potentially spend 36+ hours giving birth or enduring a dangerous C-section that will leave a gigantic scar on my body. Nothing about that is appealing to me.
- Fulfillment
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Times are changing and so are the accomplishments I want to achieve in life and kids aren’t part of that. For thousands of years, a woman’s worth was dependent on how many children she had. People think that women without kids are lonely and unfulfilled, but that needs to change. Women are perfectly capable of living a whole and fulfilling life without children. Starting their own company or working on other projects can be like their own baby.
- Adoption
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If I ever considered having a child, which I don’t think will happen, I would consider adoption. There are enough children in this harsh world without homes and bare necessities. While adopting is a long and expensive process, the idea of helping someone else out there in need seems so much better than just populating the world even more. Just because a woman doesn’t give birth to a child doesn’t mean they are any less of a parent or family.
Over the years, I have come up with hundreds of other reasons as to why I don’t ever want to have kids, but these are just a few of them. I’m more of a dog mom and that brings its own challenges, but that’s the extent I’m willing to go in terms of motherhood. It’s perfectly fine to want to have kids, but I find myself asking my friends what their reasoning is when they tell me they want to have kids. Many of them believed that was expected of them as they got older. There are plenty of reasons to have children, but that should most definitely not be one of them. There are alternative paths to life than motherhood.