With free birth control at the health center, bowls of condoms at office front desks, and lube-dispensing vending machines around campus, it’s no secret what students are doing in between studying. With hundreds of people just a Tinder swipe or frat party away, it isn’t so hard to find someone to use those free condoms with. Hookup culture continues to grow more and more prominent on college campuses, which I believe implicates a normalization of sex and sex education among young adults. While sex is often a taboo topic growing up, college is an opportunity to be immersed in sex positivity and learn more about who we are as sexual individuals.
what to expect
To start, hookup culture is not romantic. Like at all. While it’s great to develop something of a friendship, most Bumble one-night stands are just that: people you see once and never again. Dating apps catch a bad reputation for fostering these impersonal “relationships” (if you can even call them that), but they are some of the easiest, tried-and-true methods for finding a quick fling. Sometimes, that’s all you need.Â
Once you secure the sneaky link, though, then what? There are a million questions circling hookup culture: do we go on a date first? Who makes the first move? What do I do afterward? How long of a post-sex cuddle is too long? The first time is always nerve-racking and a little awkward, but the answer to all of these is whatever you want. It can be intimidating to enter a prolific hookup scene (as most college campuses are), but as long as there’s consent, what happens next is up to you. It’s important to be honest about what you’re looking for and to be sure you are clear on what your partner wants as well. Any time you’re having sex, open communication is always a must. Once you establish that and you both are comfortable with each other, knock yourselves out.Â
SEX IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT
For me, coming from a strict household, it was crazy to think that a mere sock on my doorknob would give me all the privacy I need. Without getting too crazy with the sexiling, having sex in college felt like a liberation. I was really able to discover who I was sexually, including my likes, dislikes and overall attitude toward sex. What’s more, having non-committal hookups allowed me to forgo the emotional investment of a relationship I knew I wasn’t ready for and still have fun.
Like many, I grew up thinking that sex had to be this big ordeal, but I learned that it’s only as big as we make it out to be. The build-up and attachment that are typically associated with sex may serve some well, but it’s also okay to just enjoy it at face value. Part of sex positivity is understanding that some people attribute a romantic connection to it, while for others it is purely physical. As college women, it’s important to empower one another to feel comfortable expressing our sexual identities and to explore what exactly that could be.
Hookup culture is by no means perfect, but I believe it has a big impact on sex positivity on college campuses. When done safely and consensually, casual sex enriches destigmatized conversations about contraception, kinks, sex itself and more. Whether you want to join the scene or decide that hookups are not for you, I encourage you to surround yourself with people who respect your sexual choices and promote sex positivity in a way that best suits you.