The August air was a heavy, humid 94°F as Taylor, Laurel, and I sat in the car panting. After a wrong turn cost us an extra few hours, we had just finished a 13 mile hike to the Santa Paula Punchbowls outside LA. Although the stunning scenery and swimming pools were everything we had hoped for, my two high school friends and I were internally contemplating our road trips plans ahead.
As we set off to the next destination, the normally talkative car was filled with the type of silence that conveys everyone’s exhaustion. Each of us happily confined to our reservation, Taylor opted to turn on her favorite podcast. Though I initially tuned out the noise in favor of aimlessly staring out the window, I soon became enraptured in the artistic and unique stories that unfolded. From that car ride forward, I have been an avid fan of the New York Times Modern Love series.Â
Over 20 years ago, the New York Times established a column in which readers could submit personal essays about the beautiful, ugly, painful, and magical love stories in their lives. Ranging from experiences of unconventional romance to divorce and parenthood, these essays provide a vulnerable, poetic look into the experiences of individuals of all ages, mindsets, and backgrounds. More recently, Modern Love was converted into a podcast in which authors or celebrity guests read these column-favorites aloud and discuss their meaning in an interview afterwards. In conversation with host Anna Martin, the guest speakers have a unique way of capturing the minute thoughts and emotions that make us universally human.Â
Above all other factors in my media taste, I have always been a romantic. From cheesy 90s rom-coms to overplayed pop music, I can get behind practically any storyline if there’s a sappy revelation or gut-wrenching twist. Given this track record, it was no surprise that Modern Love became a go-to favorite as I walked to class, went to gym, drove, or had any free time the months following.Â
What did surprise me, however, was the prevalence with which I found myself reflecting on these essays in connection to real life.Â
In an episode entitled “The Big Power of Little Things,” I listened on the edge of my seat as a mother wrote about her teenage daughter’s self harm. Grappling with grief of her own, the mother watched as her daughter became resigned from the things she used to love, apathetic towards the present, and hopeless for the future. In an effort to reconnect to her child, the mother leaves little printouts of poems in her daughter’s shoes each morning.Â
When friends and family struggled with their mental health around me, I found myself more aware of the experiences of those supporting them. When I attempted to support my own loved ones, I found myself more keen to find tangible, even if-small ways to continually express my love. In my own times of difficulty, I found myself reminded to celebrate life’s beauty.Â
I think about this story, and countless similar stories, often. By allowing me into minds and experiences diverse from my own, I am able to connect with a deeper, more empathetic part of myself. Bearing witness to the vulnerabilities of others – even strangers across the country – allows me to be more thoughtful, more caring, and more vulnerable myself.Â