Being on the pill for the past six years has provided me with a great sense of safety and comfort. Though I initially got on the pill to regulate my period, the added layer of protection against pregnancy was a huge bonus. The choice to start the pill was, in actuality, quite an impulsive one that was rooted in fear. Having witnessed a family member’s infertility introduced initially by inconsistent period cycles, the possibility of me being infertile haunted me. My prevailing inconsistent cycle led me down rabbit holes of questioning if I was infertile or could be in the future. As soon as I found out that birth control pills could be used to regulate period cycles, I left no time to waste. I started taking the pill as a sophomore in high school and have not looked back.
I didn’t delve into much research before starting the pill; I only cared about regularizing my period cycle. My scope of knowledge was mostly limited to what my peers would tell me: that I would probably gain weight and (hopefully) my boobs will get bigger. I recently decided to read into what exactly birth control does to your body and was taken aback by the negative side effects that I wasn’t aware of.
A big reason I am deciding to quit the pill is simply that I want to know who I am without it. Who am I without all of these artificial hormones? I have always read about how birth control changes your moods, and I quite often go through this internal crisis where I question if I even truly know who I am. Having started the pill at 15, I spent most of my prime developmental years pumping synthetic hormones into my body.
I have also heard many experiences of women getting off birth control and realizing they could feel more emotionally stable and level-headed. Having been off the pill for only a week, I personally feel as though my body and mental state are much more balanced; I haven’t found myself flooded with anxiousness, exhaustion and irritation like I used to quite often.
A wave of empowerment rushed over me the second I decided to allow my body to return to its most natural and leveled state. Though it may still be a little early to give a full rundown of my experience getting off the pill, I don’t think I will ever second-guess this choice. Having been on the pill for so many transformative years, I feel almost at a loss. However, each day, I can feel myself slowly returning to who I always have been. Maybe that is the person I was before starting the pill, or maybe it is someone who I have never been before. Regardless, I’m excited to meet her.