As a female freshman in college, every Thursday, Friday and Saturday is for putting on the same skimpy Urban Outfitters top (in a variety of colors) and lining up to show the unusually old bouncers of assorted fraternity houses my BruinCard. Because I have a long distance boyfriend, my nights are then spent observing my friends as they search for…love? No, not love. Love seems to be taboo in these environments when guys’ only goal is casual sex in one-night stand form. This culture is becoming increasingly common, and it has been ongoing for decades. Although some girls thrive in it, many others are honestly not fulfilled. If that’s you, you’re not crazy or old fashioned. Social science says you’re just listening to your biology!
In the animal world, females are selective with their mates because they can only have so many in a lifetime. Because of this, they take a decent amount of time to “get to know” the male and test him out for his commitment before taking him to bed. On the other hand, males can basically have as many mates as they want, so they like to skip the small talk and get right to it. These animalistic tendencies are still with us. Women generally like to build a substantial amount of emotional intimacy with someone before having sex with them, while men build intimacy through actual the act of sex. This theory can be backed up with the sex rates of different types of relationships: homosexual male relationships have the most sex (on average) followed by heterosexual male/female relationships with homosexual female relationships trailing all the way at the bottom of that list. Women have less sex when THEY are the ones initiating it because they value other things more.
So then why do girls go along with this hookup culture in the first place? For some, it is genuinely what they want to do. But for most, it is likely that hookup culture is just the solution to the sexual mismatch of college men and women. Women may simply be conforming because they feel it is the only option or that it is the closest they will come to intimacy because it is so ingrained in the brains of the ones they want to be intimate with.
I challenge you to follow your heart even if it goes against the status quo! Hookup culture will continue as long as everyone buys into it. If you embrace your femininity by expressing your sexual freedom with hookups, that’s all you! If you feel emotionally underwhelmed by the whole one-night stand scene, maybe it’s time you break up with hookup culture.