Anyone that knows me, knows that I am a hopeless romantic on the search for love. I’ve seen all the relationships my friends have been in and how much they’ve grown through them. In my quest for love, I began using some dating apps. Whenever I was using them, it never really felt natural to me… it felt very artificial and odd. That’s when I came across this NPR podcast that thinks about how there are two types of people out there when it comes to dating: those who date inside their circle and those who date outside their circle.
People who chose to date outside their circle will feel comfortable using dating apps. These types of people enjoy the freedom that comes with meeting new people and not having someone know all your past.
People who chose to date in their circle prefer the social safety that comes with dating someone that they or a friend knows. These types of people feel safe and comfortable in knowing that if the person that they’re dating wrongs them then there will be “social sanctions.” These social sanctions essentially translate to this: “Boy X from our Chemistry class was texting other girls while talking to me so now no one talk to him.” When you use a dating app you can’t do this! Because there are usually no social connections between your friends and your tinder date.
When I was using the dating apps I quickly learned that I was the second type of person. I felt a lot more comfortable dating people that had, at least, the slightest connection to someone I know.
I think knowing which category you lean towards is helpful because it relieves some of the pressures that come with dating. You don’t have to feel pressured into dropping ir picking up the internet in order to start dating.