As a junior at UCLA this year, I found myself in a bit of an unexpected situation. After spending the past two years crammed into a tiny room with two roommates, no air conditioning, and shared bathrooms, I thought I had seen it all. But this year, I found myself sharing a beautiful apartment with seven other girls. At first, I was definitely nervous, but honestly? It’s not as chaotic as it sounds (I promise).
Having grown up with three sisters, I’ve always understood the beauty—and the challenges—of sharing a space with other women. Now, imagine that dynamic times eight, all in a much smaller apartment. If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation, this is your guide to surviving (and maybe even thriving) while living with eight girls in close quarters.
- Setting boundaries
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My biggest tip for living with new roommates? Be transparent from the start. Communicate your boundaries early, and remember—it’s okay to have uncomfortable conversations! Not all conflict is necessarily bad. It’s way better to address issues as soon as they come up than to let them fester into tension. Simple, open communication can go a long way in keeping everyone comfortable and avoiding unnecessary drama.
Whether you prefer to communicate in person or with a quick text, never silence your voice just to keep the peace. That said, always try to understand other people’s perspectives. Stand firm on your boundaries, but also be open to compromise when necessary. Setting boundaries isn’t just important—it’s essential for your well-being. And if you’re living with someone who doesn’t respect them? Girl, you need to run. Or at the very least, learn how to co-exist. Above all, prioritize your mental health!
- Track communal purchases
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One of my roommates had the brilliant idea of tracking all communal purchases on a Google Doc to make sure everyone pitches in. From hand soap to toilet paper to cleaning supplies, it’s a great way to ensure no one person is left carrying the financial burden. Whether you want to make a cute spreadsheet or just a simple doc, the key is to make sure everyone is contributing! I definitely encourage you to take this idea and tweak it to fit your needs—it’s a game-changer for shared living!
- Don’t overbuy
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I’m begging you, please do not be the roommate who fills up the entire fridge with your food. Or even worse—don’t be the one who leaves food in there until it starts growing mold! When you’re living with a big group and only have one fridge to share, it’s crucial to be considerate of everyone else. Keep your space organized and your food under control—it’s a simple way to keep the peace and avoid unnecessary fridge drama!
One thing that’s really helped me tackle this issue is planning my meals for the week ahead. That way, I make sure I use up all my food and only need to go grocery shopping once a week. I’m fortunate to have access to CalFresh benefits, which makes it easier for me to buy groceries regularly, but if that’s not an option for you, I recommend limiting your purchases and buying in smaller amounts throughout the week. Another option is investing in a mini-fridge if your space allows—it can help keep your food organized and save room for everyone.
- Be Mindful of noise
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While we’re all adults and generally mindful of each other, it’s still important to set some boundaries around noise. Everyone has different sleep schedules, and while compromise is key, there’s a point where I think things should be a bit more flexible. For example, if I go to bed at 10 p.m. and wake up at 8 a.m., and someone else stays up until 1 a.m. and sleeps until 2 p.m., I don’t think I should have to tiptoe around until 2 p.m. when my day starts earlier. And on the flip side, they shouldn’t feel like they have to be quiet at 10 p.m. just because I’m getting ready for bed. It’s all about balancing respect and understanding each other’s needs without going too far on either side.
It’s important to have a clear understanding of when it’s time to be quiet and when it’s okay to make noise—especially when it comes to things like having guests over or using the blender for a breakfast smoothie. Personally, I’ve found that it works for me to have noise until 11 p.m. and keep quiet hours from 11 p.m. to 10 a.m. After that, it’s pretty much fair game. That said, it’s crucial to communicate these boundaries with your roommates so everyone is on the same page!
- Communicate about guests
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It’s important to have a conversation with your roommates about their preferences when it comes to guests. Everyone has different comfort levels, and some may not feel comfortable with having guests over all the time or after a certain hour. That’s why it’s crucial to set clear boundaries and make sure everyone is on the same page. I’ve heard some horror stories from friends where they weren’t “allowed” to have guests over, but their roommates had them over all the time— or even worse, when a roommate’s spouse is basically living there all the time!
Personally, I don’t mind guests as long as they’re not messy or loud, but I get that everyone has different boundaries, and that’s completely okay! Just make sure you’re communicating and respecting each other’s comfort zones.
- Chore wheel
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I think we all have that one messy roommate—the one who leaves dishes in the sink or food scattered around. As someone who’s lived in a variety of situations over the past three years, I can confidently say that having messy roommates has both given me more empathy and taught me to stand my ground. It’s important to remember that everyone grew up with different standards of cleanliness, and while it’s essential to show some grace, it’s just as important not to become the unpaid maid of the house.
One thing my roommates and I have done to tackle this issue is create a chore chart for the quarter. We divide up the cleaning duties by area (like the two bathrooms, kitchen, floors/trash), and since our apartment has four bedrooms, each room is assigned a different chore each week. This keeps everyone accountable and ensures that everyone is pitching in.
One recommendation I’d offer is to have a conversation about what “clean” means for each space. For example, when I clean the kitchen, I even tackle the fridge, and it wouldn’t be fair if I did that one week and someone else didn’t. Setting clear standards ensures consistency and makes sure everyone is on the same page. Just a thought!
