For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been really good at comparing myself to others. Whether it be with friends, relatives or random people I saw on social media, I never failed to see my shortcomings. This mindset peaked during my high school years and took a toll on my mental wellbeing. I realized that playing this comparison game was exhausting and unsustainable, so I decided to challenge myself to overcome this.
Social media seemed to be the main trigger for me and was the cause of a lot of my insecurities. Due to the nature of social media, people always highlight the best parts of themselves, without showing any of the negatives that everyone faces. I decided to go on a social media cleanse (specifically Instagram) to really focus on myself. For about a week, I completely deleted the Instagram app. I used the time that I would usually spend on social media to dedicate to my goal-planning. Specifically, I wanted to really reflect by setting my own personal and professional goals that were driven by my ambitions. I didn’t want to just follow the goals of everyone else that were expected of me. I wanted to find what my passions were and develop them into goals that I would be motivated to achieve. After some reflection, I set a few timely and realistic goals that I wanted to make progress towards within the next few months. For example, I wanted to start eating healthier by cooking home-cooked meals more (at least 3x a week) while cutting out processed foods.
While it was important for me to set concrete goals for myself, I also wanted to be grateful for my current accomplishments. Especially during the pandemic, it is so important to not be too hard on yourself and to celebrate the little victories. I started practicing gratitude by journaling every day or every other day for 10 minutes before bedtime. I didn’t have a straight prompt that I followed. I simply wrote about whatever seemed natural and relevant for me during the day but made sure to keep it on a positive note. What I found really helped me was listing all of the accomplishments and moments I was most proud of from the year. Looking at all of the positive aspects of my life on one page helped me believe in my abilities while motivating me to continue working hard in the future.
Lastly, and arguably the most difficult part of this journey, I learned to be proud and happy for other people’s accomplishments. It used to be so hard for me to celebrate other people’s accomplishments genuinely. I didn’t know why, but I always felt a tinge of jealousy or disappointment in myself during these times. I realized that this unhappy feeling came from my insecurities with myself. Identifying the cause of this issue was definitely difficult for me to accept, as I never saw myself as a bitter or jealous person. But, because it was affecting my relationships with other people and causing me to feel even more unhappy, I challenged myself to face the problem. After identifying this insecurity, I focused on building on my self-positivity and self-love through my journaling activities. While it took some time, which luckily quarantine gave me ample of, I started to gain more confidence, which took away the resentment I felt in the face of other people’s successes.
While I’m still working on this journey and am far from completely accomplishing all of my goals, I am truly grateful for all of the progress I made. Despite all of the negatives of the pandemic, I’m so lucky to be able to spend quarantine by reflecting and working on myself. As a first-year college student, I’m starting a new chapter in my life and I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me in the future.