Remember that feeling in your stomach when you first stepped into your ninth grade classroom? It’s something like half nervousness, half excitement, and a tiny bit oh-my-god-there-is-this-very-cute-guy-in-the-corner. Starting college is every bit like starting high school, except the campus is infinitely bigger – and infinitely busier. There’s hundreds of clubs all vying for members (you’re not really sure which one you’d really want to join), an ever-increasing stack of homework from your classes (and let’s not forget the dreaded midterms), and all the bills and responsibilities that come with finally being independent (kind of wishing that mom was here now, right?). Amongst the flurry of activity, it’s easy to get lost in the crowd. When I sat down at my desk one day, weary and exhausted, I realized that I felt kind of a pit in me, a bugging sensation that something was missing. It took me a while to realize that I was experiencing the quintessential feeling of loneliness that students first starting university get – “freshman loneliness.” For a while, I was submerged in that feeling of gloominess, enviously watching others laugh with their mates in front of Powell, but then I picked myself up and started to introduce myself to the people around me. Although it was a little intimidating at first, I slowly got the hang of it. So for all my fellow “freshman loneliness” victims – here’s some help from a HerCampus girl:
1. It’s normal to be lonely. Until I talked to a few of my upperclassmen friends, I thought that I was the only person going through the “lonely phase.” When the topic came up between us somehow, one junior patted me on the back and said, “oh yeah, I remember that in freshman year.” A senior heard us and piped up, “man, that was pretty rough.” When I Skyped with my best friend from high school (who currently goes to another university), she admitted to having the same feelings. Moral of the story is: everybody has gone through, or is going through the same thing as what you are now.
2. Don’t be afraid to talk to people. I often get a syndrome called “people shyness,” where I recoil from situations where I could get to know other people. I realized over time, though, that if you let your nervousness get in the way then you might miss out on the chance to meet someone amazing! Relax, be confident, and just have fun. And on the off chance that if you mess up with someone really, really bad – well, UCLA’s campus size can work in your favour. What’s the possibility that you’ll ever see them again?
3. Join clubs! My graduating class only had 120 students, so everyone got to know each other through taking classes together. UCLA’s classes are nearly fourty times bigger than that! Lectures are so big that you could literally chat up a storm with the girl sitting next to you in Anthro class, and then never see her again. While classes certainly are one way to get to know people, another even better way to shrink down the campus is by joining clubs, where you’re guaranteed to find someone who shares the same passions as you. Like photography? Join the Photography Club! Into business? There’s several clubs and organisations where you can explore your interest in a particular field. With such a large student body, there’s bound to be some niche that you share with others. If you really can’t find a club with your interest, you’re only a simple process away from creating your own.
4. Add’em to your contacts list. As someone who used to keep my phone only for contact with family and close friends, I was hesitant at first whenever people asked for my number. However, with such a large campus, texting is a great way to keep in touch. Facebook is also another way to keep updated with the people you meet. Nothing sparks a better conversation than asking about the trip to El Matador beach your friend just posted an entire photo album on!
5. Keep up with your friends – new and old! With all the different people to meet at UCLA, sometimes it’s easy to forget that you have your high school friends and your family to talk to. Plan a rendezvous! While the transportation system in California isn’t exactly the best, there’s nothing that a car ride, bus, train, or even short flight can’t bring together. Even while you go around getting to know new people, make sure to catch up with those that you’ve already met. Grab a quick lunch at any of the dining halls on campus (Café 1919 has to be my favourite), head out to Westwood, or even hit Third Street Promenade for some shopping relief. In no time, freshman loneliness will be behind you – something, perhaps, that you kind of smile and reminisce about while you