One of my favorite questions to ask people is: “Are you more of a listener or talker/yapper?” The world needs both, but as I’ve gotten older I have met fewer and fewer listeners.
We are living in the age of “yapping”, where everybody wants to be heard, yet it’s rare to listen. With social media, notifications everywhere, and conversations running right, left, and center, it’s pretty easy to slip into “yapping” or to have a conversation without absorption. Being a good listener has is pivotal: it strengthens relationships, builds trust, and fosters deeper connections. How do we break out of the noise and become better listeners?
Why is Listening important?
Listening is not just about hearing the words; rather, it is about understanding the emotions, intentions, and perspectives behind the words. Good listening skills:
- Help improve relationships by making others feel valued.
- Improve communication by minimizing miscommunications.
- Have empathy and it will enable us to observe the world from other perspectives.
- Improve professional and academic success by ensuring better comprehension and collaboration.
how to be a better listener
You listen four times faster than someone speaks! There are many small steps you can take to become a better listener. Here are a few!
Practice Active Listening – Nod, maintain eye contact, and use verbal affirmations like “I see” or “That makes sense” to show you’re engaged.
Avoid Interrupting – Let the speaker finish their thoughts before responding. Resist the urge to jump in with your own story or opinion.
Ask Thoughtful Questions – Instead of giving your view straight away, ask follow-up questions from where the speaker should continue talking. Request a backstory to get the whole picture of what the other is trying to paint.
Reduce Distractions – Put your phone aside, close irrelevant tabs, and focus on the person speaking.
Summarize and Reflect – Paraphrasing what was said by another ensures you understand a point and reassures the other person that you listened.
Be Patient – Some people take a little time to express themselves. Resist the urge to fill silences and let conversations unfold organically.
that’s a wrap to the “yap”
In a world where yapping is easier than listening, being a good listener is like having a secret superpower. It helps you build stronger relationships with people, avoid misunderstandings, and connect with them on a deeper level. Unltimately, it makes you the kind of person who people want to talk to!
By practicing active listening, setting aside distractions, and paying close attention throughout conversations, you can cut through the chaos and give every interaction more significance. The next time you’re in a discussion, you might be surprised by how much you learn and how much stronger your connections become.