New town, new school, new friends. It’s hard to feel at home for the first few days of college and it may even take a few months to settle in if you’re an international student. When I went to a boarding school in Canada four years ago, I used to call my mom everyday. But I haven’t been homesick at all ever since I came to UCLA this fall as a first year.
In high school, I treated my friends as friends and no more. This could have been because the school was small and everyone felt compelled to be friends with each other because they were all put in the same space. So, I didn’t feel the same strong bond I felt with my friends as with my family. As overwhelming as this big campus can be, UCLA’s open environment helped me make friends who truly matched my personality, with who I could feel comfortable without trying. Moreover, sharing a room with my open-minded and caring roommates helped me learn how to share and give without expecting anything back in return—how to treat friends like family. This all helped stop me from being homesick because I didn’t need to miss home anymore; I felt at home surrounded by my roommates and friends.
It’s harder to feel at home when you’re coming from a different country. As an international student born and raised in Japan, I was initially overwhelmed with culture shock. Getting used to tipping and celebrating holidays that I know nothing about can be draining. Having an “explorer” mindset helped me get over this unease. I tried to view anything new and unfamiliar as a chance to branch out my global perspective and broaden my horizons. Soon enough, everything new felt fun to me, which meant almost every day felt like an adventure.
Although adventures are fun, it’s true that getting into a routine is important for most people to feel at home. I think that the balance of both is important—weekend excursions and club socials are fun, but having a set schedule for certain times of the week can help bring stability to your life and thus make you feel at home. Study groups and clubs are a good way to bring routines to your day!
That was my experience overcoming homesickness, however, homesickness depends on the person. It may take someone a few days to overcome while it may take a whole year for someone else. Don’t feel rushed just because people around you look okay. We are all going through the same experience and this is nothing to be ashamed of!