Trigger Warning: This article discusses eating disorders and abuse.
Growing up, I was definitely a Nickelodeon kind of kid, and my favorite show was iCarly. Of course, when I heard that Jennette McCurdy (who played the fan-favorite Sam Puckett in the show) would be writing a memoir, I was immediately interested. I always thought that Sam, the “butter-sock” swinging and fried-chicken-loving best friend, was one of the highlights of the show. However, until now, I knew nothing about the actress who played her.
McCurdy starts out by explaining that acting was never really her idea. As we see all too often, her road to childhood stardom was propelled by her mother’s unfulfilled dreams of becoming an actress. “You want to be Mommy’s little actress?” McCurdy recalls her mom asking her when she was six. From there, her mom thrusted her into the spotlight.
McCurdy had quite the resume for a child and guest starred on many shows. However, these opportunities came at a price. McCurdy’s mother instilled in her a belief that her appearance was everything, going as far as encouraging her daughter to restrict calories to prevent her from developing breasts. McCurdy learned that looking older as a girl was a bad thing in Hollywood as it prevented her from playing younger characters.
The calorie restriction morphed into anorexia and bulimia, which would stay with her for many years to come. Weekly measuring sessions and praise from her mom when she went down a pants size fueled her obsession with body image. It was saddening to hear that her mother, someone who is supposed to uplift and protect, was the very person instilling within her these toxic and dangerous beliefs.
The child star dream was seemingly coming true when McCurdy landed a lead role on iCarly. She recalls being excited not about the achievement, but about the fact that maybe then her mom would “finally be happy.” It seemed throughout the book that every emotion McCurdy felt was tied back to her mom’s desires.
With so much information surfacing lately regarding Nickelodeon and producer Dan Schneider, I was curious to hear McCurdy’s experience. Allegations of hyper-sexualixed content in Schneider’s shows and hostile workplace environments have run rampant on the internet. While McCurdy never references him by name, it is clear that she is referring to Schneider when describing a figure called “The Creator.”
When it comes to “The Creator,” the abuse of power is clear. She describes how he periodically chooses favorite kids in his shows and how good it feels when he chooses you. When you’re on his good side, you’ll be given extra opportunities, so you desperately don’t want to upset him. She describes feeling uncomfortable when he pressured her into drinking alcohol underage and when he gave her an unwanted back massage, but she did not dare tell him no.
McCurdy’s account made me realize that childhood stardom is not as bright and happy as television networks would like us to think. While the actors are children, they work in an adult world. Though young, they are held to the same often unfair standards as adults in the industry. Through McCurdy sharing her experience, it is clear that this trauma often follows child stars into their adulthood. Jennette McCurdy is incredibly brave for speaking out on her experiences as a child star. I hope this book, along with testimonies from others, can drive change in the entertainment industry for the welfare of children.