Though I enjoy spending every weekend arguing with my dad against the toxicity and worthlessness of social media, recent bouts of self-reflection have me thinking that he may have a point (DON’T tell him I said that though, I’ll never hear the end of it). The compulsion of comparison interwoven into the Instagram-Twitter-Snapchat algorithm has millions of users browsing their friends and favorite celebrities’ feeds, only to feel worse about themselves with every passing post.
As teen pop sensation Olivia Rodrigo once wrote in a fan-favorite song from her album Sour:
“Co-co-comparison is killing me slowly.”
As much as I’ve already bagged on the destructive forces behind social media, I still completely own up to having toxic tendencies on these apps. And unfortunately, my internal self-hatred appears most prevalent in the month of February—the month of the accursed Valentine’s Day.
In years past, I’ve despised the entire month of February on account of the love-centric holiday glaring over my shoulder, always ready to offer whispered reminders of my “single” relationship status. Valentine’s Day was never a sweet holiday to celebrate love, it was a day for couples to brag about having a relationship while singles simply feel bad about being single. My only fond V-Day memories are the sacks of heart-shaped lollipops and half-assed greeting cards from elementary school valentine exchanges. For all intents and purposes, Valentine’s Day SUCKED.
That is, the holiday sucked until today.
As we trek deeper into the new year, I’ve spent a lot of time focusing on mental health, self-love and healing in order to find the happiness I’ve survived so long without. And as Valentine’s Day approaches, I must genuinely ask myself: Why do I really dislike Valentine’s Day? The answer is, as you can probably guess, I’m lonely. But more importantly, I’m not recognizing the true sense of love being celebrated by this holiday.
The month of love means to cherish all avenues of love in one’s life, not just the romantic type. I’m surrounded with love every day—my family showers me with unconditional and irrevocable love, my God loves me more than anything on this Earth and I fall in love every day with life’s simple pleasures. Petting silly dogs, reading life-altering YA fantasy novels, listening to music that caresses the inner workings of my soul… My whole world is one incessant experience of love, and I allowed something as insignificant as a “single” relationship status to get in the way of my celebrating such beautiful moments of life.
I refuse to permit my past pessimism to ruin any more Valentine’s Days for myself and others; I want everyone to understand that you are so loved and deserve to be happy—even if you are single. Buy yourself flowers, serenade yourself with a cheesy Twilight soundtrack song or write a love letter to yourself. YOU are composed of love, embrace it!
I know, I know, my family and friends are currently scoffing at the complete 180° I’ve turned on my opinions towards Valentine’s Day, but I’m happy to step up as the next loyal soldier arguing against the claims of greeting card companies creating the holiday for money (that theory is so true but I’m still ready to throw hands with anyone who says it).
Next time I scroll through Instagram and find the countless corny captions and couple pictures celebrating love, I’ll smile to myself and feel nothing but happiness for their amazing success. I don’t need jealousy, jealousy to control my life, I’d much rather spend my time celebrating others and remembering my own worth. Comparison never prompts positivity, so let’s just leave it in 2022.