Other’s Actions And Choices Are Not A Reflection Of My Character

Having become an advocate for equality at a relatively young age, I always carried the burden of educating others. Whether it was on social media or a conversation I overheard in high school, I always felt the need to insert myself and correct people’s ignorant thinking. I carried around the feeling that if I didn’t say anything, then I would be a part of the issue and that I was enabling such blatant racism or homophobia. So I found myself, on more than one occasion, arguing as my life depended on it and going after people to make sure they heard what I had to say. But what I realized along the way was that even though I said what I felt needed to be said, there was no guarantee that I was heard. 

For years I carried this responsibility but looking back in many cases all I achieved was ruining my own peace of mind. I struggled for hours wondering how someone could think like that and whether I said the right words to get my message across. I would explain the issues surrounding a topic for hours only to realize later that I had been talking to a wall. These arguments went nowhere, just leaving me more frustrated with how so many people think. 

Recently, I took a step back. Rather than stressing for hours about someone elses beliefs and trying to change their mind, I just began expressing my own and hoping they could take something away from it. Having taken this step back I realized how much of my own patience and peace I destroyed while fighting with people who did not care what I had to say. I needed to learn that I am not responsible for others’ actions and beliefs. It is not my job to go around and educate everyone on issues that minorities face. I have no obligation to defend myself to someone who is blatantly ignorant and unwilling to change. 

Now, this is not to say I will never stand up for what I believe in. I still advocate for justice, I still believe that this nation was built on a system that oppresses minorities. But I will no longer waste my time educating someone who is not willing to learn. It’s easy to figure out when someone is set in their beliefs or if they are open to learning more. Arguing with someone who was never going to change their mind does nothing to help out minorities.

I’ve come to the conclusion that if I correct someone once on their ignorance they should take the message and try their best to change. As humans we can only be held accountable for our own actions and reactions; it is not one person’s job to singlehandedly make others more accepting.  

• #self-care
• actions
• advocacy
• character
• Choices
• lgbtq
• minorities
• patience
• self-love
• social justice