After an uncanny amount of sunshine this quarter, I should have known better than to assume LA had miraculously evaded its infamous winter rainfall. With the onslaught of not one, but two atmospheric rivers that hit the West Coast during the first weekend of February, the UCLA students that braved their in-person classes put forth quite a compelling lookbook of rain outfits. However, this rainy UCLA lookbook repeats itself with an astounding amount of precision year after year, and what better time to break it down than the present?
The weather app boycotter
Despite having gone to college in Southern California for over a year, I still refuse to forgo a critical piece of my morning ritual: lying in bed, willing my eyelids to stay open, and checking the weather app before getting dressed. I don’t care that winter temperatures only really oscillate between 45 and 75 degrees, because in Los Angeles, the difference between a sunny day and a partly cloudy day is practically life or death. Even if it’s the same exact temperature outside, it is my personal and esteemed opinion that no one should be caught dead in a puffer on a sunny day, but on a cloudy day, all bets are off. Regardless of my personal affection for a good forecast check, there is an entire demographic of UCLA students who do not share this same daily practice, and 99% of the time, you would never know. But when it rains, boy do you know exactly who they are.
“The Weather App Boycotter” is someone who you spy on campus sporting an outfit that is so unbelievably unsuited for the rain that it makes you do a double take. The defining characteristics of “The Boycotter’s” outfit, you might ask? Shorts and flip flops. At first glance, you would think that this person is making their way to BFit or Wooden because of the gym shorts, which would make this a much more valid look. However, as your gaze moves down to reveal a pair of bare feet trudging through a stream of dirty groundwater, sending an immediate shiver down your spine, the validity of this look is thrown out the window. If you are a flip flop sympathizer, “The Boycotter’s” rain look would be perfectly acceptable on any other day, but on rainy days, this look is hard to come back from.
The denier
From “The Boycotter,” we arrive at “The Denier,” a category which I proudly consider myself a part of. Normally I would call this type of student the “Out-of-Stater,” but I had to do my NorCal friends justice, because they do have at least some exposure to the elements. This demographic of students chose to bring absolutely zero rain gear to UCLA because they listened to “It Never Rains in Southern California” one too many times the summer before their freshman year. Well guess what, Albert Hammond? You set us up for complete and utter disaster.Â
The defining characteristic of “The Denier” is that they will wear quite literally anything other than a rain jacket. A down jacket that does a half-assed job of being waterproof? Game on. An old hoodie that maybe keeps their hair from getting completely drenched? Chances are, they have it on. For “The Denier,” any form of outerwear is fair game. And while they would never admit it, every single one of them has an incriminating Amazon search history of just about every rain gear product on the market. But, for “The Denier,” giving in to that oh-so-tempting Amazon Prime delivery means surrendering to the less desirable reality that it does in fact rain in Southern California.
the snow angel
Last but not least, we have “The Snow Angel.” It is my personal belief and hope that the “Snow Angel” is either from Southern California or is from an unusually warm climate, because if not, I’m not sure how they could defend their choice of rain attire. As an East Coaster who is well acquainted with sub-freezing temperatures, nothing makes me question my knowledge of temperature fluctuations like a “Snow Angel” spotting does.Â
When faced with the slightly lowered temperatures that are characteristic of an LA rainstorm, “The Snow Angel” seizes the opportunity like no other. This is the type of UCLA student that believes rain justifies wearing not only a puffer, but a ski hat and gloves. With “The Snow Angel” you’ll never really know whether they’re heading up to Big Bear Mountain for the weekend or just on the way to class. There is also an enticing air of mystery surrounding them, because they’re so bundled up that you can never really tell who lies beneath their concealed exterior. This type also happens to include the most likely candidates to have an umbrella with them — I mean, they have to protect their puffer some how…
Stream “Snow Angel” by ReneĂ© Rapp, I guess?
If there is anything remotely productive to take away from these three types of students, it’s that winter quarter rain drives us all to complete and utter madness, and that we simply should not be held responsible for ANY outfit choices we make during these trying times. Whether you are a “Weather App Boycotter,” a “Denier,” or a “Snow Angel,” in my eyes, you should be applauded for your resolve to make it to class despite our hopes and dreams of a rainless Southern Californian utopia getting swept away by the lazy river on Bruin Walk.