Personally, Thanksgiving has always felt like a marking point for change. It’s the first long break during the year, and subsequently, it throws a lot of us headfirst back into our past selves. At school, I never realize how much I’m changing and growing until I go home for the holidays and realize how I felt like a completely different person the last time I was home. On top of that, it’s a realization of your potential and pushes you further into your adulthood. Here are some trends that I’ve noticed about going home every year:
- Prepare to see people you went to high school with
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This one’s inevitable if you’re stopping by your hometown. Unless you plan on locking yourself in your room for the entire holiday, you’re bound to bump into at least one person from high school. I went to a pretty big high school in a small town, and I find that many of my old stomping grounds have been infiltrated by people I haven’t seen in over four years. Some of these encounters are surprisingly heartwarming, whereas some of them are awkward and emotion-inducing experiences. My best piece of advice is to just focus on the people that mean something to you. Catch up with an old friend and learn about all the new characters in their lives! An awkward conversation with an old crush might weigh you down a bit, but an outing with one of your old best friends is guaranteed to cheer you up. Even if you find that you don’t really click with anyone in your hometown anymore, college friends are only a call away. Take these weird little moments from the past in stride and learn to laugh them off. It takes a lot more of your energy to focus on the negatives than the positives.
- The Turkey dump
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My mother and I have always referred to this time lovingly as the “Turkey Dump,” otherwise known as the time when people who left for college with prior relationships in tow realize that those relationships aren’t working out. Year after year, the Turkey Dump persists. This isn’t to say that if you went into college in a long-distance relationship, you’re doomed to suffer an inevitable breakup around Thanksgiving. At their core, long-distance relationships are tricky and complicated, and distance can make two people learn that they just want different things in life.Â
I had my first Turkey Dump experience last year. Transferring to UCLA was hard and time-consuming, and I finally realized that being in a complicated relationship wasn’t something that I had time for. It was hard at the time, getting asked about my ex-boyfriend around the dinner table wasn’t an ideal Thanksgiving. In hindsight, I am grateful to have gotten myself out of that relationship when I did. It made me realize my worth and allowed me to let a lot more happiness into my life.
- your parents will revert back to their old ways
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Their baby is back home! Prepare to wake up every morning a little confused as to if you’re somehow sixteen again. For me, my parents’ reverting takes the form of questions like “When will you be home?” and “No, you’re not allowed to drive that late,” among a myriad of other teenage rules. It’s honestly pretty infuriating and weird to be treated like a teenager again, but learn to be nice to your parents. While this is your first long break home, this is their first encounter with the newly grown you and they’re emotional. It’s important during this time to reaffirm your boundaries, be patient and openly converse about who you are now. I’m a senior in college, and my mom still has a tendency to overstep. If you plan on going home for winter break, you might want to start those tricky conversations a little earlier to make the month break better for everyone.
- passive aggressive conversations are bound to ensue
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A conversation with your 80-year old grandfather about the latest midterm elections is a foolproof recipe in putting everyone a little on edge. My grandparents and other family members have opposing opinions about things like politics, and it can make it a bit tense when we all get together. Like a Gossip Girl Thanksgiving special, boy are they entertaining. There is nothing like attempting to be on your best behavior around distant relatives while everyone stomps around the elephant in the room. Time slows down as someone makes a comment that ruffles some feathers, and suddenly we’re all making little jabs. Thanksgiving at my house is a great sitcom episode with a live studio audience; someone is bound to get into a passive aggressive argument with grandpa. If your family is like mine, I will reiterate taking these less than ideal situations in stride. Laugh it off and focus on your stuffing.
- your hometown may not look the same as before
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I don’t know why I thought that leaving my hometown would mean it would stay the same way as it was when I was growing up there. I recently visited my hometown for a game of trivia at a local bar, and I was shocked to see the local corner store with boarded up windows. The same corner store that my middle school best friend and I used to frequent to grab our usual order of sour candy and chocolate milk for our movie nights. The same corner store that I would stop in to grab a box of mac and cheese for my brother and I when mom was working late. If you hold onto things with sentimental value, it may be hard to see these little pieces of your past close their doors. Overtime, you may not recognize your hometown. Change is terrifying, and these physical manifestations of it can be reminiscent of that. It may be striking and confusing at first, but it always helps me to remember how my memories are still there even if these physical places aren’t.
Original photo by Kylee Kropf
Overall, everything will feel a little different, and so will you. Going home can be an explotion of emotions for a lot of people. Take your first break home as a time to relax, and don’t dwell on the scary parts too much. Enjoy your turkey and your family as much as possible!