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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCLA chapter.

I feel like people don’t talk anymore. I’m not referring to when you see your best friends from school or home and immediately fall into conversation about this new show with Adam Brody as a Hot Rabbi (Nobody Wants This, on Netflix) or that experience that had you both dying of laughter (singing Wicked at the top of your lungs on the way home from In-N-Out). Nor am I referencing saying a cursory hello or thank you (happens at Ministry of Coffee all day). No, I’m talking about starting real conversation when there’s a risk the other person won’t be your new best friend — and then being open to the possibility that they will or won’t be. When you’re not sure where they stand on this issue or that, but you’re willing to find out. Even when you see a stranger wearing the coolest pair of sunglasses and want to know where they’re from (probably thrifted), and when you have the gumption to talk to a “stranger.” 

To preface, I’m not arguing for talking to every stranger — “stranger danger” does still exist, after all. But, fear of danger isn’t a valid excuse not to talk to that person you’ve eyed and thought, hmmm I could be friends with them, and in fact is just that: an excuse not to talk. 

In fact, my main focus here (while acknowledging this is a sweeping claim) is this: in our society, it seems we’ve become so comfortable within our bubbles. Whether that’s a work bubble, social bubble, school/class bubble, or any other one, we miss out on so many opportunities for unique and beautiful connection — all because of this bubble effect. 

So, what can should do? We need to burst the bubble. 

Admittedly, I come at this topic from a biased lens; I’ll talk to anyone. I’m not afraid to strike up conversation with my Uber driver about their favorite pasta dish or the random person sitting in class next to me. Why? Because strangers are only strangers so long as you decide they are. You have the power to make that random person sitting next to you in class not random anymore. You can make them real, you can become real, and those individuals we hold off on talking to, listening to, and even inviting into our circles can become just as beloved as those we already know.

This idea reminds me of a Girl Scouts song I used to sing in elementary school, which apparently left a profound impact because I find myself coming back to the messaging time and time again. The song goes, “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver, the other is gold” and as cliche as it sounds, I believe it with all my heart (even though sometimes, new friends are just as golden as older ones — the show Golden Girls did have a double entendre in its title). 

What I’ve realized over time is that this skill — this ability to simply talk to anyone, and have genuine conversation (whether it’s short, long, meaningful or a one-time-only experience) has been on the decline. And if I’m being honest, I find it quite disheartening that as a society, we’ve shifted from encouraging making new connections and taking chances in relationships to instead remaining in the groups (bubbles) we come from, or even reverting to exclusion and meanness.

And the thing is, I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’ve had friends come to me complaining about how they only see the same people every week, but that’s also because they refuse to go out and try hanging out with someone new. The bubble is comfortable. It’s cozy and has a blanket, with a hot chocolate on standby whenever you want it. But, it’s also a cage. And the sooner we realize this, the sooner we can break the cycle. Maybe your newest friend is the girl ordering a strawberry matcha in front of you. Maybe it’s the guy sitting next to you in Physics. It’s up to you to find out — and it all starts with one conversation. 

UCLA English & Global Studies Student. Fan of books, sweetener-free matcha, king charles cavaliers and analyzing early renaissance drama.